As the Texas heat begins to take over, we offer some sexy ideas to stay chill
When the mercury rises, so should your creativity to stay cool … or at least entertain yourself and your partner. Consider these seven ways to beat the heat, and add a little sexy time to your life while you’re at it. And we’ve even incorporated food into the mix!
1. Make a batch of adult popsicles. First things first: If it’s too hot outside to breathe — let alone move — it’s time to break out the blender and get phy-sicle. Start with a pitcher of margaritas (or your favorite summertime cocktail with a kick) and pour the liquid into ice-pop molds. Molds are abundantly available these days in all sorts of (unintentionally phallic) forms, like the rock-shaped ice pop molds from Tovolo, available on Amazon. When the hooch sets, enjoy instant refreshment (and perhaps satisfaction) that’ll not only cool you off but also help you perfect your form… if you know what I mean.
2. Bring a bowl of ice to the bedroom. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking — this doesn’t seem practical unless you want a waterbed. Easy fix: Just put a few towels down. I’ve employed what I like to call the “Frat Sex” method for more than a decade, and whether or not ice is involved (because who wants to wash the sheets every single time you get down to business?), it’s the perfect solution to achieving all your goals by bringing ice to the bedroom. You’ll cool down, you’ll perk up, and you’ll both feel fresh as a daisy when all is said and done. Aaaaah.
3. Hop on your bike and head to the ice cream parlor. Not everything you do to beat the heat has to be tainted with sexual innuendo and opportunity, of course. A super simple and surefire way to rejuvenate your sun-worn body from the inside out is to hop on your bike and take a leisurely ride to your local ice cream parlor or stationary ice cream truck for a cool-and-creamy treat.
4. Play a game of strip (enter favorite game here). Air conditioner on the fritz? Create your own climate control by playing a game of strip whatever-you’d-like with your partner and/or a group of friends. The best part about this game is that everybody’s a winner (if you’re a glass-half-full kinda group), so there are no hurt feelings when the last player crosses the finish line.
5. Get a little dirty washing the car. Is there anything sexier than a shirtless hard body soaked in suds from head to toe? Fulfill your college car-wash fantasy at home by heading out to the driveway to get your ride clean as a whistle in the naughtiest way possible. Just remember, the neighbors may be watching … so put on a good show.
6. Drop trou and go skinny-dipping. Not to be too obvious, but if you have the good fortune to have access to a pool — preferably one surrounded by a privacy fence — there’s absolutely no excuse why you shouldn’t be shimmying out of whatever you’re wearing when the sun goes down to take a dip in the buff. If your partner is hesitant, do it the hard way: toss ’em in fully clothed (sans valuables in the pockets) to remind them that’s it OK to play every once in a while.
7. Invite your friends over for a wet undies contest. One of the best things about being LGBT (in my opinion, at least) is that we generally don’t subscribe to the social norms of our hetero counterparts … basically because they’re boring. Case in point: It’s easier to round up our best gay guys and gal pals for an impromptu wet-undies contest in the backyard that will, if you’ve got really good friends, result in an afternoon of sopping-wet flirty fun with endless possibilities. Why not plan it the same time as the skinny-dip party, and kill two birds with one stone?
— Mikey Rox
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 4, 2014.