Judge Tonya Parker
Out lesbian Dallas County Judge Tonya Parker touted her refusal to conduct marriage ceremonies in her courtroom on Tuesday night.
“I have the power, of course, to perform marriage ceremonies,” Parker said. “I don’t.”
The mention of her decision to not perform marriage ceremonies came while the 116th Civil District Court judge addressed the audience at the monthly meeting of Stonewall Democrats of Dallas, of which Parker is a member. While Parker highlighted her progress in her first year as judge in what had been “the worst district court at the courthouse” with more old pending cases than the other 12 district courts, she also spoke about the importance of having an LGBT person on the bench.
Parker is the first LGBT person elected judge in Dallas County and is believed to be the first openly LGBT African-American elected official in the state’s history. As such, Parker said she takes into account the importance of her position to make members of the LGBT community feel comfortable and equal in her courtroom by “going out of my way to do things that other people might not do because they are not who I am.”
Using the example of turning young couples away who want the court to marry them quickly because they are often pregnant and desperate, Parker said she refers them to other judges because of the state’s marriage inequality, informing them that that is why she will not marry them.
“I use it as my opportunity to give them a lesson about marriage inequality in this state because I feel like I have to tell them why I’m turning them away,” Parker said. “So I usually will offer them something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry. I don’t perform marriage ceremonies because we are in a state that does not have marriage equality, and until it does, I am not going to partially apply the law to one group of people that doesn’t apply to another group of people.’ And it’s kind of oxymoronic for me to perform ceremonies that can’t be performed for me, so I’m not going to do it.”
Parker also said she refused to allow a prosecutor to use the terms “child molester” and “homosexual” interchangeably in her courtroom, saying that just because the man on trial was accused of assaulting boys, the term “heterosexual” wouldn’t be used in place of “child molester” in cases where a man is accused of assaulting a girl.
And Parker said she includes the term partner when jurors are informed of the Texas Supreme Court directions that instruct jurors not to discuss cases with their husband or wife.
“What I want to do is help those folks to have dignity in that moment that they are with me to know that I see you,” she said. “I see you and in that I have reflected to them that I have respect for them.”
When asked about declining to perform marriage ceremonies in a follow-up phone interview on Wednesday, Parker said the decision was simply about equality and having to turn certain people away.
“I do not perform them because it is not an equal application of the law. Period,” she said.
I have excellent memories of the great work i was involved in with SDD when i lived in Dallas.
what would happen if a person in the private sector refused to do their job…they would be fired…do the job that our tax paying dollars pay for you to do or resign…you have the same rights as anyone else…just as you can not marry the a same sex partner, neither can I…not that i would but we have the same rights…get it through your gay skull
At least she passes str8 couples to another judge to perform their ceremony. Other county officials in states that have marriage equality simple refuse to perform the service and don’t offer an alternative.
@ Justin: Discrimination is when one person has more or less rights than another person for reasons beyond his control, such as age, race, gender or sexual orientation. Marriage is both a civil and a religious insitution. While it is perfectly fine for any religion to choose not to marry a couple within that faith, it is unjust for civil authorities to deny two people of any gender the right to a civil marriage. My straight brother can marry the person he loves; I cannot marry the person I love. We do not have the same rights. I hope you can get that through you skull – straight, gay or otherwise, although I have to wonder about any “straight” person who spends a lot of time on LGBT blog sites…
Justin – NO, we don’t have the same rights and marriage is a RIGHT, not a freakin privilege! Why don’t you get that through your STRAIGHT skull??
Good for Ms. Parker. It is admirable for her to stand by her principles. Justin, performing marriages is not part of her job. It is a perq of her job, one in which she can choose not to partake. Choosing to perform marriages or not actually has nothing to do with her “gay skull”. A heterosexual judge could also choose not to perform marriages, as would I, if I were in her position.
YAY for Judge Parker!
It is so refreshing to have an elected official that truly understands equality. @Justin, the performance of a marriage is not a requirement of an elected judge. They can elect not to do so. Also, it is critical to understand that judges are required to uphold the (State or Federal) constitution. This is why we often see Judges using their power given to them as a 3rd branch of government: interpretation of the law. Unfortunately, not everyone recognizes the difference. Furthermore, “marriage” is a religious institution that truly has no place in recognition by the government; that’s the goal of religions. If we truly lived in a country where the Constitution was correctly applied, governments would recognize the contractual commitment of individuals, regardless of race, sex, secual orientation or religion, and leave the recognition of marriages to religious institutions.
@ Justin: I hate to tell you, but there is a list of people AUTHORIZED to conduct marriages, which includes district judges. See Section 2.202 of the Texas Family Code. Also, Section 2.203 says a person authorized to perform a marriage ceremony, who is presented with a valid marriage license “MAY” perform the marriage. The term “may” is very important under the law and is very distinct from “shall.” Someone who “may” do something has authority to do it, but is not obligated to do it. And tax payers do not pay judges to perform marriages. Typically the wedding parties pay the officiant.
Poor, Justin, I know sometimes reading the law is more difficult than spouting off poorly written complaints, but you might give it a try 🙂
lousy wording – I thought it said she wouldnt do gay marriages.
She did the right thing.
I admire the judge’s position. Let me suggest that the state should get out of the marriage business altogether. Never mind the Uniform or TX Probate Code or the divorce recognition statutes. Marriage and its benefits/duties should be a private contractual matter insofar as the state is concerned. The state’s interest should be confined to child welfare. The church’s role is separate matter entirely. I am thoroughly blue, by the way.
She following the damn law. She can’t marry Gay People, why is the even a story?
I’m confused. Judge Parker is a civil court judge. Why would she be telling a prosecutor not to say something… when there aren’t prosecutors in her court?
Also, there are a couple other gay and lesbian judges in Dallas. Judge Parker is not the first. But she is the first African American female lesbian.
I think the author got some details wrong.
Poor ignorant Justin. What the judge is doing here is standing up for what is morrally correct. If big corporation stood up and challenged the status quo, i.e. did what was morrally correct, we would have widespread corruption, pollution and human rights abuse. Just because your job is to ensure that the cost of exotic middle eastern carpets are cheap and affordable doesn’t mean that you support the hiring of child labor to do it. You stand up for what is right and fight the establishment and if that means losing your job you are the better person for it. If the public doesn’t agree with the judge refusing to perform opposite sex unions, let them vote for a right wing conservative judge that agrees with their homophobic notions. If Dr. King had done his job and just preached to the choir and stuck to the prevailing theme of racisim at the time we would be no further along than South Africa was in the 1970’s. Then again Justin is probably a WASP that believes in the segration of minorities, the ownership of slaves, the domination of men over women and all that is wrong with this country. Maybe Justin is a garbage collector and finds nothing challenging with his job, no hard decisions to make, no lives to affect, no moral challenges. Thank goodness Justin is in the minority.
Fantastic! Right is right and it’s always the right time to do the right thing. Kudos to a smart and brave jurist. She deserves all of our support!
Is it ever “right” for the discriminated against to become the “discriminator”? I understand the tempation, but the Honorable Judge, still “officially” treated as a “second class citizen”, should reconsider and trteat others as she would want to be treated. Equality for all!
Steve, where in the Constitution does it say that marriage is a right? You are wrong and the judge should be required to do her job. That is what she is paid to do by all of the taxpayers, not just a small group. Churches do not have the same requirement as they are not paid for by taxpayers. I personally do not care one way or the other about gay marriage, but am tired of it being thrown into everyone’s face whenever one gets his/her panties in a wad.
Dave – Where in the job description does it say that she has to perform your marriages? She’s a judge and she does her job in court. I personally do not care one way or the other about heterosexual marriage, but I am tired of it being thrown into everyone’s face whenever one gets his/her panties in a wad. And why are you reading a gay newspaper? You’re welcome to our site. Just wondering why you’re here.
You guys lay off Justin. He can’t help his ignorance. Bless his little bigoted heart.
Justin, this is Texas. An employee in the private sector has the right to refuse service to anyone. As pointed out previously someone in the legal field must follow the law and she is doing that. She is found her job that MY tax dollars are paying for. Anyone in the legal system who discriminates for any reason should find a new career.
@Dave, surely you know many churches are on the taxpayer teet! “Second class citizens”, like the Honorable Judge, are very ambitious. I do hope the Judge will reconsider and show her haters how to truly extend marriage equality/hospitality in the courtroom. I understand her motivation, but I do not agree with her approach. Same goes for the Santa Fe Hairdresser and the Tennessee Restaurant owner. Let’s leave the discriminatory behavior for the anti-equality movement. It fits them much better!
Dave Basham – Just because it’s not in the Constitution doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to marry whomever I choose. As has been stated before, this judge is AUTHORIZED to perform marriages. She is NOT required to perform them, therefore she’s not breaking any law, as you claim. Believe me, if you were in my shoes and were told you couldn’t marry the person you love, you would most assuredly be singing a different tune. As far as churches go, they ought to be taxed, just like everyone else!
Several who have commented seem to think that performing marriages is part of the judge’s job. It’s not. The judge is paid for that service by the couple who are being married, not by the taxpayers, and not by the county. It’s something a judge can do if they want, but they are not required to do it.
Now that THAT is settled, I fail to understand why some think that her NOT performing marriage ceremonies is discriminatory. She doesn’t offer them to one group and not another, like the judges who DO perform them. Think about that.
Thank you David. I like it when you intervene.
Everybdys gonna have der own opinions abt things but JUSTIN jus really takes da cake….smh…i think judge Parker is doin da right thing! All ppl shud live equally and not have ta worry abt discrimination…more ppl shud stand up for wud dey believe in like judge parker…keep up da good work!!!
Judge Parker and supporters, let’s leave the discriminatory behavior for the conservative anti-equality movement (See Jesse Helms, David Dewhurst, Craig James, etc.) who employ political operatives like Arthur Finkelstein. Judge Parker, please reconsider your decision and let your “official” walk be one of inclusion. Don’t give in to the anti-equality haters.
Keep up the great work, Judge Parker. We could use a lot more judges like you ensuring the rights of EVERY person are upheld.
So does this mean the Judge will also pay the benefits that the gay couples get that are meant for couples who will conceive children, because this issue is really about profit…. not love. Gay people want the tax breaks and incentives given to potential parents with out the possibility of having children. Make NO mistake its about M. O. N. E.Y.!!! No professing there love. I for one am not willing to give money to them that is marked to go to children. I find it appalling that they want to deprive children for profit. Call it what it is…taking candy from babies, or in this case family benefits.
@C English,
I hate to break it to you, but some queer couples do in fact have children. And plenty of heterosexual couples do not.
C- English… Just a little information for you.. More than 17,440 children are being raised by se sex parents in Texas according to the latest census data.. What about elderly or infertile couples? Should they be denied marriage rights too?
Kudos to Judge Parker for standing up and speaking out for what is right, fair and equal. As the parent of a lesbian, I believe my daughter and her partner should have the right to marry here in Texas, and have their marriage recognized. As it stands now, they cannot do this, and even if they marry elsewhere, their marriage will not be recognized here in Texas, as mine is. Judge Parker’s point is well taken; she is not REQUIRED to perform marriages; she explains WHY she doesn’t, but she assists the parties who want to marry in finding a judge to marry them. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Again I say, kudos and RIGHT ON to Judge Parker 🙂
Once again, refusing marriage ceremonies for EVERYONE is not discriminatory. Currently, in most states marriage is available for opposite-sex couples but not same-sex couples — THAT is discriminatory. Judge Parker merely refuses to perform a ceremony that is itself based on a discriminatory law. She will happily marry any couple who comes to her after marriage equality is achieved.
I can’t think of a tax break that I ever got as a “potential” parent. You have to have the children to get the tax breaks. Besides, there are a lot of same-sex couples WITH children, so no one is stealing family benefits here.
C English … so to follow your argument, then a heterosexual couple who is unable to bear children for medical reasons, or purely by choice, should not be allowed to legally marry. And if a heterosexual marriage fails to produce children … what, should we force them to pay a fine, or simply pronounce their union illegitimate?
This is what affirmative action get’s! Recall the bitch and hang her out to dry!
Please move to Vermont where it’s legal and marry me Judge Parker. I am in love at first sight.
@ Paul that is so true…lol. Every law should apply to everyone. Then it becomes acceptable and enforceable. How can one get married in Mass and then go home to florida and not have their marriage honored in that state. When I can get married in any state and move to any state and my marriage is honored. Does that seem fair and just? Well????? NO!
So the Honorable Judge, who inherited and is cleaning up “the worst district court at the courthouse”, has decided to NOT marry anyone since she herself cannot get married legally in the great state of Texas. Many “second class” citizens, like the Judge, are up to difficult challenges. “Second class citizens” are often very ambitious and dedicated in their work life. Don’t believe me, check in with Texas Senators Cornyn (R) and Hutchison (R) who nominated a “second class citizen” as chief prosecutor for the Western District of Texas. Is it the “Good enough for the work but not good enough for the full rights” way with the GOP?
Judge Parker
I commend you for your courage.If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.Keep up the god work.
I commend Judge Parker for being wholly, 100% impartial! Truly, I wish her well for being TRUE to her profession, the LAW under our US Constitution, i.e., being wholly honest, IMPARTIAL! As she cites, being true in apply the laws equally to ALL it pertains! Thank you, Judge Tonya for the sharing of what the US Constitution is all about: Equality, Fairness, Imparitality in doling out every aspect of Our US Constitution, i.e., our basic freedoms as a Free people! Be well! Kia Malie ~
I find no reason for anyone to be upset at this.
It is her choice. She does not want to marry anyone? Fine and dandy.
And I appreciate those who have commented here that it is her right to not marry anyone if she does not feel it right since not EVERYONE can get married in her state.
I just hope that those who feel it is her choice not to marry straight couples can give that same opinion of judges who refuse to marry gay couples. Because I am sure that with different states voting to allow gay marriage, there will be many judges and ministers who refuse to marry gay couples. Let’s allow them the same freedom to make that choice.
What digusts me the most is that my son, who is a U.S. Marine is now fighting in Afghanistan, on behalf of the American people- and their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And until the DADT was lifted this did not include himself. He is many things that make him the intelligent, compassionate, dedicated, powerful man who I hold as the most admired man in my life. The least of all those things is the fact that he is gay. He is a warrior, and he is in love. And I know that my child would make a wonderful parent. It sickens me that he fights for those who did not have the courage, the conviction and bravery it takes to sacrifice your life for others to have freedoms that he cannot enjoy. There are many able-bodied men and women in this world who never give service consideration, so that are free to go forth and make babies that they don’t support, and leave the pregnant mother to raise the child alone (in poverty) in most places. And some of the most respected parents I know are homosexuals. So I just adore this judge for her stand. Nothing changes if people hold their tongues on issues that affect them, so my hat is off to this dallas jugde and though I do not live in Tx, I would be estatic if she makes her point and is actually heard. The ignorance has to end. And to call a childmolester a homosexual is wrong, because 99% of all child molester were not comitted by openly gay people. Instead these are
heterosexuals(w/ some major mental disorders) who are in the closet and so cowardly as to coerce and take advantage of children. If a man was caught molesting both girls and boys, what would he
be called in the coutroom , because most molesters ( no matter who they abuse) should be jailed and castrated, so that they cannot infect us w/ their precense, and Our Lord will hold them accountable for their sins.
It is bullshit the way LGBT marrige is treated by the government, but this doesn’t make it less sad to see the number of morally inept people supporting the “Honorable” Judge Parker’s actions…
These people being refused a marrige aren’t in charge of writing law, and her choice not to marry them isn’t some moral high ground.
It is a pathetic and disgusting act of bitterness, to support this vigilante justice against people who did nothing against her in the first place would be like shooting the partner of the person who murdered your own. I see this judge is a real fuckin winner, winner as in cunt rag…
When I contentiously refuse to be party to what most Americans believe is immoral conduct1 by refusing rent to homosexuals who want my apartment in order to practice their immorality, I go to jail.
When a judge refuses to be party to what all Americans acknowledge to be moral conduct, out of spite against those who consciously do not want to encourage immorality, she is applauded.
Deuteronomy 16:19“You shall not distort justice; you shall not be partial, … 20 “Justice, and only justice, you shall pursue, that you may live and possess the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
1“Most Americans (55%) believe that homosexual behavior is a sin, while 33% disagree.”Pew Research Center, November 18, 2003
How long before all you liberal thinkers are gonna let me marry my sheep? Some of these comments scare me……. 🙁
You can count out any gay judges in the future then. The voters wont put up with that
@Don The Bible is not a legal document, and is not recognized in a court of law. You can tout Bible verses all you want, it’s not going to change how the law views things. Oh, and using a 9 year old research study doesn’t help your cause. New ones have been done, and I believe they show something drastically different.
@JR We won’t be letting you marry your sheep, because your sheep is an animal that cannot consent to anything, beyond our reasonable understanding. What we liberals are going to do is let two people marry regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Sweden, Norway, Brazil, The Netherlands, several US States, Canada, and other countries that have full marriage equality, don’t let people marry animals. Come on now, be reasonable.
@Don P Are you in the habit of proving your opponents point. Quoting the Bible about inpartiality and “Justice, and only justice, you shall pursue…” only furthers the Judges rationale. She pursues justice, justice for all w/o partiallity.
Go Girl !!! Someone is fighting back
Keep it up girl!!!
Judge Parker is awesome. I’ve appeared before her many times as a Plaintiff and she’s a kick-ass Judge. She is a stickler for details and doesn’t hesitate to scold you if your paperwork is prepared incorrectly! But she is super intelligent, progressive-thinking, funny, and most importantly, an excellent Judge. She treats everyone with respect and demands it. I’m proud of her for this decision. She is fully within her rights and I think it is an awesome “protest”.
via @msnNOW https://on-msn.com/xZriKZ
then she needs FIRED! Her job is to follow the law not make it. She is insubordinate.
The Chief Justice of the state Supreme court of Ala. got fired for refusing to remove the 10 Commandments from the state court house ( which is is right as C.J.) SEND HER PACKING
@kOlt45
Fired for what dearie? Not performing any marriage? Which in Texas is a perk of being a judge, not a responsibility. Following her conscience? Which in Texas IS an option.
Perk being an option you can choose to accept, or decline.
You do what you think is right. I stand behind 101%!
Yes, your honor
Your opinion is true and correct as I verily believe. One of the guiding principals I adhere to at and within my estate is,”Equality, Before the Law”. The 14th amendment’s “due process clause” is all you need to maintain this stance against oppostion in Dallas County, Texas. You also have the same amendment’s “equal protection clause” to back it all up. I am verily impressed with your boldness and straightforwardness in this very serious matter of law..
This is taking it way too far…she is a judge !! She needs to be fired now!! It sounds like our president-“Do it my way or the highway!”…..well she needs to take the highway…
FIRE her ***. She is paid to do her job. If I went in to my boss & said I am not going to perform my work any longer until u give into my demands I would be unemployeed. If she wants to force her belief system on other she needs to find another job. Texas does not support this cr*p. Don’t bend to the threat of if we fire her we will be subject of a law suit. The state should SUE her for not performing what she is paid to..
A judge is a servant of the people, like police officers, governors, and garbage men. None have the authority to make law. That task is responsibility of elected representatives. The Judge’s job description does not say she can choose which laws to follow and which she can decide not to follow. The same holds true for police officers, garbage men or tax accountants. If she will not adhere to her oath of office, then she needs to return to the private sector where, as a lawyer, she may freely choose her course of action (within the law). It makes no difference what her personal “beef” is with the system, she violates the public trust using her personal feelings to influence administration of justice.
This “so called” judge needs to be fired / impeached NOW. This is part of what is wrong with the USA right now; too many judges legislating from the bench. That is not their job and she is obviously NOT doing hers.
SO TRUE! She was not elected for her OPINION! As a Judge, she is to ENFORCE the law not INTERPRET IT! The LAW in Texas is One MAN One WOMAN only, can marry! PERIOD! COMPLETE INSUBORDINATION! FIRE HER NOW!
We also DON’T NEED OR WANT HER OPINIONS IN THE COURTROOM!
What a sick woman ,just like a little kid I want my way!! This broad needs to be thrown out ,and and removed from the bar.No wonder this country is screwed up with MORONS like her!!!!!!
It is not the ‘law’ to marry someone ! If she does not want to marry striaght couples she doesn’t have too ! You guys don’t know anything about the law ! She OWNS the courtroom ! Trust that ! Were you elected to be the jugde ?? Why don’t you all get a law degree and become elected jugde ?? Can you do that ?? Can you go through with Parker is going through ?? NO !! I’m 100% for gay marriage ! Great job your honor, thank you for having the courge to stand up for my rights, my partner’s right, and all gay rights !!!!!!!!!
For all of you who say she is not entitled to her opinion, why are you entitled to yours. You don’t like gay marriage so you shout it from the rooftops, but she can’t do the same. I’m impressed someone in power is willing to stand up for her beliefs. Keep up the good work, this is how change happens.