I have known Joel Burns for almost 10 years — several years longer than he has been on the Fort Worth City Council.
My wife and I met Joel and his husband, J.D. Angle, through mutual friends back when Joel and J.D. still lived in their beautifully restored home in the same East Fort Worth neighborhood where my wife and I and our children lived. I saw them then as the perfect couple: happy, handsome, healthy men with a beautiful home and great jobs. I knew they had great things ahead of them.
Then they moved to another beautifully restored older home in an historic neighborhood just south of downtown Fort Worth, and Joel ran for City Council. I was so happy when he was elected, because I believed that not only would Joel be a good representative for his constituents in District 9, but that he would also be a good representative for the LGBT community.
I think the fact that no one even stepped up to oppose Joel when he ran for re-election in 2009 shows that his constituents, overall, believe he is doing a good job on the City Council. But last night — Tuesday, Oct. 12 — during the weekly Fort Worth City Council meeting, Joel proved without a doubt that he also represents his LGBT community, and he proved why it is so important to have openly LGBT elected officials at all levels of government.
At each council meeting, council members are given a few minutes each at the start of the meeting to make announcements and to recognize people from their districts who have done something outstanding. Last night, Joel took his time to talk about the recent suicides of several LGBT youth — and to tell his own very personal and very powerful story.
After recounting the stories of several young men who have taken their own lives in recent weeks after being subjected to anti-gay bullying and harassment, Joel told his fellow councilmembers and those in the council chambers that he was about to tell them something he had never told anyone before — not even his parents or his husband. And then, struggling through his own tears, he told them of the day when he was a 9th grader at Crowley High School and a group of older teens accosted him and “roughed him up.”
“They said that I was a faggot, and that I should die and go to hell where I belonged. That erupted the fear that I had kept pushed down, that what I was beginning to feel on the inside must somehow be showing on the outside. Ashamed, humiliated and confused, I went home. There must be something very wrong with me, I thought, something I could never let my family or anyone else know,” he recalled.
Joel broke down then, and acknowledged that he couldn’t actually bring himself to read aloud the next couple of sentences he had written that described his own near suicide attempt. “I, don’t want my mother and father to have to bear the pain of having to hear … hear me say the …” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
When he regained his composure enough to continue, Joel said: “So I will just say, and I will skip ahead, I have never told this story to anyone before tonight. Not my family, not my husband, not anyone. But the number of suicides in recent days have upset me so much, they have just torn at my heart. And even though there may be some political repercussions for telling my story, the story is not just for the adults who might choose or not choose to support me. The story is for the young people who might be holding that gun tonight. Or the rope. Or the pill bottle. You need to know that the story doesn’t end where I didn’t tell it on that unfortunate day. There is so, so, so much more.
“Yes, high school was difficult. Coming out was painful. But life got so much better for me. And I want to tell any teen that might see this: Give yourself a chance to see just how much better life will get. And it will get better. You will get out of the household that doesn’t accept you. You will get out of that high school, and you never have to deal with those jerks again if you don’t want to. You will find and you will make new friends who will understand you. And life will get so, so, so much better.”
Joel then talked about all the happy memories that fill his life now, from the first time he ever saw his future husband, to the day he asked J.D. to spend his life with him, to winning his first election to just a few days ago when he sat with his father after his father came out of surgery, and his father told him how happy he was to have Joel there with him.
He said: To those who are feeling very alone tonight, please know that I understand how you feel, that things will get easier. Please stick around to make those happy memories for yourself. It may not seem like it tonight, but they will. And the attitudes of society will change. Please, live long enough to be there to see it.”
Joel ended by encouraging anyone who needs help or resources to deal with the issue of LGBT teen suicide to contact TheTrevorProject.org or to call him directly at 817-392-8809. “And you can call me, and I will get you whatever resources you need,” he promised.
As Joel finished, his fellow councilmember and friend Kathleen Hicks led the rest of the council and those in the council chambers in a standing ovation for Joel and his courage. I think he deserves a standing ovation from all of us, as well. Because last night, Joel Burns did us all proud, and maybe — just maybe — he helped save someone’s life.
Watch video of Joel’s speech to the council below:
I don’t know Joel Burns, but I can say I am so very, very proud of him, not only for this, but for so many others as well.
Way to go Joel !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to school with you @ Crowley ….. Proud of you
What an astonishing, honest, and heartfelt statement. Bravo for standing up on behalf of bullied youth and for sharing your experience, Mr. Burns. From San Diego, California, my hat is off to you.
That you for supporting Joel Burns and sharing his story. You both make me proud to be a Texan.
This is so courageous and wonderful of you. You, sir, are a true hero! Bravo!
I hope the citizens of Fort Worth realize just how fortunate they are to have such a warm, compassionate man serving on their city council. And as a man who went through many of the same childhood experiences as he did, let me say just how proud I am of Joel.
So incredibly powerful. Thank you, Joel, for the courage to make that amazing video. Sending you a warm hug from Canada.
Freedom of speech u hard shitted butt packers.
Heroic.
Thank you Mr. Burns.
I saw your’ video on the itgetsbetter project’s youtube site. Thank you for standing up and making your voice heard. That was very courageous of you and absolutely made a difference. A lot of people in that room are going to have to think about it now, and so will everyone who sees this through the internet. It made me feel so uplifted to hear your words coming out of Texas. Like There is hope for this country yet! A great speech, and a handsome man to boot. Lucky husband! (Love the accent) 🙂 swoon! – from Los Angeles, California
I was blown away by this. I left Texas years ago, but I am once again filled with pride that I grew up there now because of this guy. THIS is what I want to see more of – leaders in the community standing up and saying ‘no more.’
You lucky Texans have an absolute giant in your midst. Joel Burns is an inspiration and here in the UK we are marvelling at him and feeling distinctly humbled. This sort of courage and leadership doesn’t come along often.
I’m proud to have known for a long time Joel and have always called you “friend”. Well done my old friend… Well done! My eyes filled with tears as I read the words then listed to you speak. First of sadness, then of hope…. I trust your message has been heard and will continue to be….. JG
You are a brave man Joel. Thank you for sharing.
Warning: Do not watch this video if you’re at work or somewhere else that you don’t want to be reduced to tears. Hope for us all! Joel for president!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
You are brave and good, and I love you.
Straight, married, with 4 wonderful kids………… my wife and I are so overwhelmed at this incredibly powerful story and this incredible city council member who has so eloquently bared his soul and told his story. We are both sitting here sobbing, and yet so happy to know that people like Mr Burns are out there, putting their money where their mouth is and fighting the good fight. How so very inspiring, and so very humbling. Mr Burns, we salute you from the spectacular Adirondack Northcountry of far upstate New York.
Our kids are mostly out of highschool now but my wife and I are going to meet with our local school administrators; we want to know what is being done in our community to give all of our kids a safe place to grow and learn. And we want to be involved, we should be involved. Everybody should. How many of these kids might have been the next Picasso? How many might have gone into cancer research? How many could have grown to unite a community with such rousing words as those of Mr Burns?
Councilman Burns; we are so deeply grateful for your story.
Robert and Joan Merrick, Essex County NY
Thanks Tammye! — you’re wonderful.
@Bryan M.: What accent? 😉
I love Joel and JD I am glad they are our friends!
This speech reminded me how important it is to be courageous and to uphold those whom are courageous around us. Thank you so much for speaking out Joel. We hear so much about fear and hate in the new lately, but I believe our country is actually full of earnest, good people that wants what it best for themselves, and their friends and family. I can guarantee this is helping teens especially in the South — but also all over the world.
joel, i have shared this video with everyone i know, and we have all been reduced to tears. what you said was amazing, courageous, and utterly unforgettable. i went to a public high school in austin, texas – a city people laud for its openmindedness. but i will not forget being in english class one day, and disagreeing with the the opinion of our class president, will, about the point of a book we were analyzing. will said, “ok, whatever feminazi” and the class erupted into laughter. when they calmed down, our teacher asked will to finish his comment, and said when he was done i could respond. a friend of will’s said “or will could finish and then rachel could rip him a new one.” people were in hysterics and i ended up leaving class in tears. i felt like i was the only person like me in the world – i felt completely alone. that’s just one example of the comments i received as an atypical kid growing up in texas. there were times i felt so alone and miserable i wondered why i was putting up with it – i felt like maybe i would be better off dead. luckily i made it to a women’s college in massachusetts, met other women who were outspoken like me, learned i wasn’t a complete waste of space, and that i had a gift. i’m grateful to my parents and my teachers for not allowing that to be beaten out of me by the cruelty and ignorance of some of my peers. joel, thank you. i’m crying as i write this, and your west texas sunset sounds just beautiful. it makes me miss the longhorns i grew up next to, and climbing through creek beds in the texas countryside. i live in new york now, but texas will always be my home, and i’m grateful to know you’re there, with completely humbling bravery and compassion. thank you.
Thank you, Joel, for showing us what real leadership looks like.
Joel you have demonstrated such integrity and courage, that in my book you are the hero of our time. When greed, corruption and personal agendas are the order of the day, it is amazing to hear a clear voice with a
heart of compassion and an eye on the future of our youth and our country. You exemplify the mature adult community leader that we all keep waiting to show up, but so rarely do anymore.
You have my greatest respect and my heartfelt good wishes.
A remarkable man of great compassion and courage! Joel Burns is a role model for us all. Bravo, Joel!
I am an openly gay serviceman in a military allied to the United States. I have served for 12 years, on many occasions alongside the USA. My husband, a highly decorated veteran of Afghanistan, Iraq, Kosovo and Kuwait served for 18. Last night we watched together Councilman Burn’s speech to the city council – we we both moved beyond belief. Burns has earned our total and uncompromising respect for having the bravery to tell his story in the way he did. How rare to see such moral courage in a politician these days.
I pray Joel’s message doesn’t just reach those of us who can empathize or have stood in his shoes. I pray Joel’s message reaches those who have never really had to address the truly devastating impact homophobia can have on an individual, a community or an organization. I pray Joel’s message reaches all those kids out there contemplating ending their own lives because death seems the better option compared to enduring another day of abuse.
I’ve been sent to work in the Fort Worth area a lot in recent years. Although I love the city, its never struck me as a place where it is easy to be gay. I commend Joel Burns (and indeed A.J.) for standing up and making a difference. The world needs more people like him. Maybe one day on a future trip to DFW I’ll have the honor to meet Councilman Burns in person. I’d dearly like to shake his hand.
I salute your courage it was here at the GW bridge we lost this young man.
How can I help on a national scale? I want to meet with you .
Sincerely
Wayne Foti
908 662 1688
Thank you for your courage to speak out. What a wonderful model you are for our young people, as well as for our uneducated older population who ignore the intolerance that is rampant in our country. I am the mother of a lovely lesbian daughter and a beautiful gay man. I am so grateful for people who have loved them and accepted them for who they are – and have made their journey less troublesome. I look forward to the day when all young people can blossom into the lovely unique individual each is meant to be – in a nourishing, non judgmental and tolerant society. I am so grateful to you for doing your part to bring that about. Bravo!
Thank you for speaking so powerfully against bullying. You have made a difference through your courage and your heartfelt message of love and respect for your fellow human. Thank you Joel!
Joel, there are no words that can adequately tell you about how moved I am by you speaking about this national tragedy at the city council meeting and showing your heartfelt concern and support for our nation’s teens. It was brilliant. I can’t imagine what courage and strength it took to write down your personal experiences and thoughts and then to speak to the group (and America) as you did. You’re a warm and sensitive individual to edit what you felt should not be said on camera because of your love for your parents. Your message brings hope front and center. I hope that our towns’ leaders have seen or heard about how boldly and courageously you spoke sharing your personal and intimate story. It will take all of our efforts to stop the bullying and the tragic loss of precious lives. You have surely caught the world’s attention. I’m certain there are more “Joel Burns” in public office out there and I look forward to more of them speaking out. My admiration extends to JD and to your mom & dad. Your message generously acknowledges the power of their love for you. It also delivers the message that we all have, or will have, people in our lives who love us for who we are inside. If you don’t mind my saying so, I think your mom and dad raised one tough cowboy of their own. What a wonderful world it is having a person and a leader such as yourself in it. You’re a good man for getting the word out there. Thank you. You have inspired me. It does get better, our youths need to hear more encouraging words like this. Forth Worth… you folks sure are lucky and I’m sure are proud of Joel Burns. Joel – my best to you, JD and to your family. Robert in Virginia
Saw a play called” Freaks” put on by a local high school. Everyone should see it…especially middle and
high school students. It addressed bulling and suicide. A real eye opener.
Joel thank you, the world needs more people like you.