My life is weddings

My life is layered cakes and custom suits and white dresses. My life is food stations and place cards and first dances. My life is loves lost and found and rekindled and reinvented. My life is weddings.

I got married just over five years ago and three years ago I began writing about weddings for the New York Times. I got married because I fell in love. I started writing about weddings because of COVID.

I was writing about travel and food and entertainment. I was launching my new book — Be That Unicorn — all about living your best life and I felt — like most of the world — it was going to be very hard to live my best life.

I wasn’t going to be traveling or going out to eat or going to see concerts and plays for who knew how long. I needed to, well, I hate to use this now terribly overly used word. But I needed to pivot.

I was grateful I was married to my wife. That was the one thing in the world that made sense. And as it hadn’t been that long ago at that point, it was also one thing that still filled my mind with vivid images of joy.

And when I heard about two women getting married at a drive-in movie theater so people could be “together apart” I knew that was a story I wanted to, had to, tell, because as soon as I heard about it, I was filled with a similar type of joy.

I figured, if my wedding and marriage make me happy in my personal life, I bet other people’s weddings and marriages would make me happy in my professional life. And, voila! I was right. So began my life in weddings.

I have written about so many weddings, so many couples, so many stories.

The guys who wanted to get married at a music festival, so they created a music festival — Wonder Woods — and they were wed in a magical wedding weekend complete with food trucks and camping and performers like Betty Who.

The young woman who fell into a coma in a ski accident while competing in the X-Games and woke up paralyzed from the neck down only to be back on the slopes a year later.

The couples who have risen out of tragedy and into love.

The couples who have small ceremonies.

The couples who have large ceremonies.

The couples who wed in small towns and big cities and overseas and in their own backyards.

Here’s the magical thing. No matter the love story or the tragedy or the journey or the family differences, there is always one through line — the desire to love and be loved. Nearly everyone longs to truly see someone else and to be seen by that person.

Most of us want someone to come home to, to share with, to plan with, to take care of and to be taken care of by.

What I have learned from writing about weddings is just how universal love is. And, somehow, that gives me a great deal of peace, especially these days when most things seem anything but peaceful.

I have also learned that we should do anything in our power to support that kind of love. We should set aside petty differences and be there for our families and friends. In July, my wife and I attended a wedding where politics almost kept us from going.

It was no fault of the bride’s, and when I saw how thrilled she was to have us there, I was so grateful my wife decided we should go for exactly that reason — to show her we loved and supported her despite other people’s noise.

Life is short, and it can be very short on joy sometimes. Weddings give us the opportunity to celebrate the one thing that can bring us continued joy if we commit to nurturing it — love.

If you’re planning a wedding, don’t sweat the details. If you’re thinking about missing a wedding, do everything you can to attend. If you’re going to a wedding, raise your glass, do the Electric Slide, be in the moment of which there never seem to be enough.

After our wedding, guests told us how much fun they had; how much they enjoyed being with the people they knew and the ones they met; how the night felt infused with love and joy; how magical the entire evening felt from the venue to the ceremony my father performed to the Whataburger taquito party favors.

“Best wedding ever,” they said. “Best night ever.” All I can say is, “Best compliments ever.”

I’m glad family and friends loved my fairytale gown, the kitschy food stations, the absolutely dreamy flowers, and the B2 custom cocktails. But I am thrilled that they felt the love. Because, in the end, love is not just all we need…it’s all we have.