A wedding that represents you is a wedding you and your guests will remember.
(Photo by Lisa Hause)
Make your wedding truly one to remember
“No one remembers what kinds of flowers or how many blooms there were at a wedding” — That’s the best piece of wedding planning advice
I’ve ever heard. It’s meant quite literally. Research was done apparently, but it’s also a powerful commentary metaphorically.
People won’t remember the flowers or the chairs or the table linens. What they will remember is how the event made them feel.
They’ll remember the time they spent with you, the wedding couple, and with all of your/their friends and family. What they will remember are the little details that made the day so special.
Boozy milkshakes rather than expensive champagne. (Photo-by-Lisa-Hause)
People will remember the moments you created for them. When guests reminisce about my wife’s and my wedding, they talk about dancing all night long and about the Whataburger taquitos that were passed around with boozy milkshakes at the end of the night.
I often write about weddings, so I get to hear about all sorts of special things couples do. As soon as I learn the details, I can always tell which will be the ones guests will long remember.
One couple created an entire music festival for guests, including bands and food trucks and tents to sleep in. Another handed out bubble wands to guests that read “bubbles to heaven” on the side, so that guests could blow bubbles in honor of the bridegroom’s late father and the bride’s late husband.
Another couple hand-wrote a note to every single guest on cards designed by a relative and had the notes hanging on a wall for them to find when they arrived at the ceremony. Couples have had their grandmothers as their flower girls and their dogs as their best men.
They have worn capes and crowns and even worn gowns made from their mother’s dress and reimagined for their big day. They have live painters at their receptions and taco carts at their after parties. They have handmade quilts for their guests to use when the sun goes down at outdoor weddings.
There have been dances and surprise performances and giant photos of pets’ heads to pass around on the dance floor. Dessert bars and ice cream trucks have appeared instead of cakes. Local fare and gifts have been served and given to guests respectively.
I’ve seen instant poetry and shadow cut out and fortune telling stations — and even a phone booth where guests can record well wishes and advice for the happy couple.
The only limit is your imagination and the only point is to make the wedding as much the two of you as possible.
You should dress like you want and say what you want. You should have it where you want with the officiant you want. You should have the number of guests you want and the menu you want, from picnic fare to ramen to a seafood extravaganza.
You have to ask yourself first, what feels the most authentic you? And how do you want your guests to remember the event?
Whataburger taquitos — a great way to end the night. (Photo by LIsa Hause)
And don’t break the bank. Just don’t. Better to have a lovely picnic in the park with a potluck lunch than to be paying off a party instead of saving for a home. No party — even one celebrating a marriage — is worth that burden and stress.
The wedding is just the celebration. The marriage and the people who will support you as your marriage grows should rule the day.
Traditional is nice and all. But the times, they are a-changing. And so are weddings — and marriages for that matter.
Honor the day by honoring yourselves with a realistic celebration. Don’t let it be the only time you wear a suit or gown. Don’t let it be the only time you’d gather in a ballroom. Don’t let it be the one time you’d splurge beyond your means. If it’s all one time only, it’s likely not you.
It’s ok — in fact, it’s better — to lead with who and what you love instead of what anyone else’s idea of a wedding is. If you want ideas, great!
Ask and read away. But don’t be afraid to make it your own.
Don’t let a florist or planner — or relative! — tell you what you “have” to have. Bouquets aren’t required. Heck, shoes aren’t required. If you’re not comfortable at your wedding, what’s the point? Of any of it?
Guests won’t remember if you chose ranunculus or rhododendron. Guests would rather have yummy food than fancy food. Guests want to talk to one another and dance and see you.
So don’t worry about what people expect.
Have the flowers you love and the people you love in a place you love, eating and doing the things you love.
It’s a day about love. You should love it. And, trust me, your guests will love you for it.