Sometimes, it’s difficult to say the words: “Mom… Dad… I’m gay.” You panic. What will they say? How can five letters do so much? Have I sprung it on them too quickly?
Fear not. We have some alternative ways you can come out that may soften the blow. There are the old-school ones — “I’m a confirmed bachelor,” “I’ll never be the marrying kind,” “I’m a Friend of Dorothy,” “I’ve started dating someone… I think you will like this person….They are very lovely.” But we have some much more modern versions. Insert as warranted for your situation.
“I want to be a theater major at Baylor.”
“Cam and Mitch are like role models for me and my friends.”
“Bey has it all over Nicki, m’kay?” (Optional: Head roll and finger snap.)
“Bob is my roommate.” (You live in a studio. With one bed. And your parents have visited.)
“Debbie Reynolds and George Michael in one week?!?!… I just can’t.”
“Who cares about a Grammy — I want to win a Tony.”
“Who does Donald Trump’s hair? No one good, I promise you.”
“I got you tickets to Cher’s latest farewell tour. I thought we could go together.”
“Who’s Russell Wilson?!?!?…. Oh! Ciara’s husband.”
“You’re not actually wearing a sweater-set to church are you, Mom? Grrrl.”