Counselors talk about the warning signs and treatments for depression and provide a number of resources
TRIBUTE | Mariagrazia LaFauci, 24, of Waltham, Mass. places a teddy bear on a bench at Boston’s Public Garden, Tuesday, Aug. 12, where a small memorial has sprung up at the place where Robin Williams filmed a scene during the movie ‘Good Will Hunting.’ Williams, who committed suicide Monday, Aug. 11, at the age of 63, had spoken openly about his struggles with depression. (Elise Amendola/Associated Press)
Robin Williams’ suicide this week has sparked widespread discussion about depression, substance abuse and their warning signs and treatment in the LGBT community — and beyond.
Counselor Candy Marcum breaks depression down into two categories — situational and chemical.
Situational depression, Marcum said, can result from losing a job, battling health issues, the break up of a relationship. For that kind of depression, counseling can help.
But chemical depression is biological in nature, and often someone with chemical depression needs more than just someone to talk to, Marcum said.
Chemical depression can also have a genetic aspect, she added, surmising that perhaps “it ran in [Williams’] family.”
Marcum said she refers some people to a psychiatrist for medication and others to programs at Resource Center or Legacy Counseling Center.
Marcum said she looks for co-morbidity in diagnosing depression and substance abuse, noting that the two problems often go hand-in-hand.
Marcum said there’s no one best way to combat the problem of substance abuse, but that there are a number of options for those seeking help in North Texas.
“We have a wonderful LGBT sober community in Dallas,” Marcum said, recommending Lambda AA and Al-Anon.
One of the warning signs of depression, Marcum said, is “when a person doesn’t take joy in some of the things that used to give him joy.” Other signs include frequent feelings of sadness or guilt, significant changes in eating or sleeping habits, irritability, exhaustion or trouble concentrating or remembering, changes in appearance or a growing tendency to pull away from or be inaccessible to friends or family.
But the signs of imminent suicide can be much harder to detect, Marcum said.
Often when someone actually makes the decision to commit suicide, he or she will seem happier precisely because they’ve made a decision, Marcum said. She said she’s seen cases when someone began putting their affairs in order, and those around are glad to see that person seem to be getting better, when in fact that person is just preparing for the end.
Marcum also said it’s a dangerous myth that when someone talks about suicide, they’re not serious about actually doing it
“If someone mentions suicide, take it seriously,” she insisted. “Call the police.”
The Rev. Jim Mitulski, interim pastor at Cathedral of Hope, works with a number of people on issues of depression from a pastoral care standpoint.
“I’m always sure to say, ‘Are you seeing a therapist?’” he said. “And as someone who’s done it, I’m not embarrassed to ask people about their substance abuse.”
Mitulski said that some religious people often see depression and seeing a therapist as a sign of spiritual weakness. But he said he views someone working on their mental health a sign of spiritual health.
There’s no shame in being depressed, Mitulski said, and you don’t have to keep up appearances.
“There’s a reluctance among Christians to take anti-depressants,” he said. “But science helps us.”
He said LGBT people are often reluctant to go to a therapist because of bad experiences they had previously when they were forced to see a therapist to try and change their sexual orientation or resolve gender identity issues.
So it’s important to make sure you have the right therapist, he said, suggesting that individuals interview potential therapists or ask someone they trust to recommend a therapist.
Sometimes, Mitulski continued, friends and family are part of the problem. A pastor may have just the right distance to ask the right questions.
And, he said, “It’s never too late to change.”
Fort Worth counselor Beth Lewis distinguishes between suicide and depression.
“A history of depression doesn’t always lead to suicide and a suicide can occur without a long history of depression,” she said.
She said with Robin Williams in the spotlight, the trend has been to call suicide selfish.
Some seem to think that “a person who ends their life simply wants out,” she said. “Call it what you want, but that doesn’t help. It’s not selfish. It’s desperate.”
Lewis said depressed people who want to end their lives often do so quickly.
“We expect the people we love to grab us and say, ‘Please help me.’ That doesn’t happen,” she said, urging anyone who sees someone they care about suffering the signs of depression to tell them, “I’m here for you and together we’re going to get some help.”
Lewis said to take a direct, affectionate and caring approach.
Before resorting to medication, Lewis suggests that those battling depression take a holistic approach — exercise, a healthy diet, adequate hydration and plenty of sleep. She also suggested they eliminate white sugar and processed foods from their diet.
Lewis said when someone is healthier, they can manage the things they’re qualified to manage. As an example, she said, no one can manage a death, but a person can learn to manage a loss.
Doug Hall, a licensed psychotherapist who practices in Uptown and Arlington, called suicide a long-term solution to a temporary problem.
“No one should suffer for a long period,” he said. “We have great medications and good treatments.”
He said psychological and spiritual healing go hand-in-hand and that depression should be treated as any other medical condition — with no stigma attached.
“If the worst thing I have to do is take a pill or two a day, I know a lot of people who’d be happy to trade places with me,” Hall said.
Many times, a person dealing with depression thinks they’re up against a brick wall without an answer. Hall said when you see a friend or relative in pain, try to convince them to seek treatment. There’s always a solution, he said.
But the person dealing with depression can’t overcome it alone. Hall suggested that if someone is so debilitated they can’t make an appointment, a concerned relative or friend should make the appointment for them. Get them out of bed, get them dressed and get them to the appointment. If you think someone is in immediate danger of harming themselves or someone else, call 911.
Whether a first contact is with a pastor that can ask the right questions and make an appropriate referral, with a counselor that can help sort out problems and make a referral if necessary, or with a psychiatrist that can prescribe medication, — if you’re struggling with depression, find help somewhere.
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Where to find help:
National Resources
• The Trevor Project:
866-488-7386
• National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• NSPH’s Deaf Hotline:
1-800-799-4889
• GLBT National Help Center:
1-888-THE-GLNH (4564)
Local Community Resources
• Alcoholics Anonymous Lambda Group:
214-267-0222 or 214-887-6699
• G.E.A.R. (Gender Education, Advocacy and Resources):
214-528-0144
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance of Fort Worth and Tarrant County:
817-654-7100 or dbsa_fortworth@yahoo.com.
• Legacy Counseling, private and group sessions that include alcohol and substance
abuse programs for people with HIV:
214-520-6308
• Resource Center (in conjunction with SMU’s Master of Science Counseling Education Program):
214-393-3680
• AIDS Outreach Center/The Journey (support group for people living with HIV):
Brenda Wingo, 817-916-5217.
• AIDS Outreach Center/Mujeres Unida(for HIV-positive women, in Spanish):
Ana Colin-Hernandez, 817-916-5214.
• AIDS Outreach Center/Futuro Unidos(for HIV-positive men, in Spanish):
Bea Lampka at 817-916-5225
• AIDS Outreach Center/Man Talk (for HIV-positive gay and bisexual men):
Curtis Smith, 817-916-5219.
• Mental Health America Of Greater Tarrant County | Warm Line (non-crisis referral number, limited hours, 1-5 p.m.
Monday-Friday): 817-546-7826.
• MHMR of Tarrant County 24-hour Crisis Hotline:
1-800-866-2465 or 817-335-3022.
• The Suicide and Crisis Center of North Texas:
214-828-1000.
Local LGBT-Affirming Counselors
• Stonewall Behavioral Health:
214-521-1278, Stonewall@Stonewall-inc.com.
• Hall Counseling and Associates:
214-662-3523, dallasXian@aol.com.
• Beth Clardy Lewis, M.A., L.P.C.:
817-781-3735, bethlewistherapy@gmail.com.
• Cynthia Lovell, M.Ed., L.P.C.:
214-497-6268.
• Randy Martin, L.P.C.-S.:
214-392-8247, martinlpc@yahoo.com.
• Tammy Tips, M.A., L.P.C.: 817-300-8809.
Local Religious Resources
• Agape MCC (Fort Worth):
817-535-5002.
• Beth El Binah (Dallas):
214-500-8304.
• Cathedral of Hope (Dallas):
214-351-1901.
• Cathedral of Hope-Mid Cities (Hurst):
817-354-HOPE
• Celebration Community Church (Fort Worth):
817-335-3222
• Celebration on the Lake (Gun Barrel City):
903-451-2302.
• Crossroads Community Church (Dallas):
214-520-9090.
• Harvest MCC (Denton):
940-484-6159.
• Northaven UMC (Dallas):
214-363-2479.
• MCC Dallas:
972-243-0761.
• Oak Lawn UMC (Dallas):
214-521-5197.
• St. Thomas the Apostle Episcopal Church (Dallas):
214-352-0410.
• Trinity MCC (Arlington):
817-265-5454.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 15, 2014.