For those who are far from family — geographically or emotionally — holidays can be hard. Here are ways — and an event to make
it easier

DAVID TAFFET | Senior Staff Writer
taffet@dallasvoice.com
Holidays can be stressful for LGBT people whose families may not be completely accepting.
“A lot of people don’t have any place to go,” said Melissa Grove, executive director of Legacy Counseling Center.
Some people would spend the day with friends, but those friends are off with family.
One option for people with no plans for the holiday is to spend the afternoon at the Round-Up Saloon, 3912 Cedar Springs Road, which is hosting its sixth annual Community Thanksgiving Dinner from 2-6 p.m. Frank Martinez puts together an army of volunteers to do everything from cook to clean up as well as entertain.
Candy Marcum, a therapist specializing in marriage and family issues in the LGBT community, said she loves the event at the Round-Up, saying that the community offered support is a beautiful thing.
“I think any holiday is a two-edged sword,” said Marcum, noting that people automatically think of family during the holidays. “But your family might not be where you are, emotionally or geographically,” she noted.
Since Thanksgiving and Christmas are just weeks apart, some people plan to visit family for just one or the other. “But you still want to celebrate the other,” Marcum said.
She said it’s important to plan something for the holidays — some people go to the movies on Thanksgiving, going from one screening to another, spending the day catching up on films they’ve been too busy to see.
Or maybe, she suggested, you could spend the day bingeing on Netflix. Just make a plan, any plan.
“Another issue is feeling lonely on the holidays,” she said. “And a person can feel lonely in a crowd.”
Marcum said there are lots of reasons for that — having recently lost a loved one, a break-up, family rejection. Those feelings get magnified during a holiday.
Marcum advises to be kind to yourself and remember, the holiday only lasts 24 hours.
Grove said a number of her clients, especially those in the Master Leasing housing program, take advantage of the Round-Up’s Thanksgiving dinner. She called the dinner powerful.
“A lot of our clients haven’t had a place to go for years,” she said.
Many in that program are coming out of a homeless situation. She said the group provides more than a meal. The event gives them a reason to dress up and socialize.
“Holidays shine a spotlight on a level of isolation,” she said. “A lot of people don’t live near families and have no opportunity for fellowship.”
Some have friends who will be going to their families and just have no one around to share the holiday with.
“There are lots of reasons people go,” she said.
For people planning to go to this or another community dinner, the events give them something important to put on their calendar.
Grove said the Round-Up does lots of giving during the year, but this is one of her favorite events at the bar.
Her final advice for anyone feeling lonely at Thanksgiving, who doesn’t think they would enjoy attending a dinner where they won’t know anyone, is to volunteer to help serve the dinner.
Marcum’s advice for the holidays is “take care of yourself emotionally. Know it’s only stressful for 24 hours.”
Grove said, “We’re incredibly blessed by the people pulling together this event. I’m always stunned by how much the LGBT community comes together and never stops giving.”
As for Martinez, he’s short a few volunteers and could use some donations, but he’s not worried. After preparing a meal for 400 people five times already, this year’s feast should be no problem at all.
“We’ve got it down to a science,” Martinez said.
What inspired the dinner, Martinez said, was when he and Butch Compton realized Resource Center’s food program was closed on Thanksgiving Day. But, he stressed, this meal isn’t just for Resource Center’s or Legacy’s clients.
It’s called a community dinner, and that’s just what it is, he said.
Martinez also pointed out that it’s not a Round-Up event; that’s just the venue. Volunteers and donors come from the Caven bars, Alexandre’s, Woody’s, Cedar Springs Tap House and others.
What he hears most from people who attend is, “I’m not welcome in my house,” or “I don’t feel welcome.” But after so many years of producing the community Thanksgiving, Martinez said he just expects friends to come together because this event is fun.
At 3 p.m., the entertainment begins. Martinez said to expect performers from the local theater community. He called it, “local, live and a wide variety.”
And what happens when you’re cooking for 400 and only 350 show up?
Anything left over goes to Soup Mobile or one of the local shelters that make meals to distribute to the homeless.
Community Thanksgiving Dinner from 2-6 p.m. on Nov. 23 at the Round-Up Saloon, 3912 Cedar Springs Road.
Entertainment begins at 3 p.m. Contact Frank Martinez at fmartinez62672@gmail.com to donate or volunteer.
Volunteer meeting at 10 a.m. on Nov. 18 at the Round-Up Saloon.