Hello, my amazing Dallas Voice readers! Welcome back, once again, to my monthly Woof column. Today I want to address a topic that we never want to discuss but one that we all, unfortunately, have to experience.
One of the hardest parts of loving and having a pet is knowing that our time with them is never long enough. No matter how many years we get, there always comes a moment when we are faced with one of the most difficult decisions a pet parent will ever make — saying goodbye.
Yes, this column will be a sad one, just to give you a heads up!
As a veterinarian, I have walked alongside different families during this moment. As a pet parent myself, I know that no amount of medical training makes it easier, and, if it is sad for me as a doctor, I always know it is much worse for the families.
End of life decisions are emotional, heavy and often filled with doubt. Many families worry they are giving up too soon or, worse, waiting too long. The truth is that no matter when the decision may be made, it is almost always made out of love.
Euthanasia is often misunderstood as giving up. In reality, it is one of the kindest gifts we can offer when suffering outweighs joy. It is not about choosing death, though. It is about choosing comfort, peace and dignity when their body can no longer keep up with who our kiddos used to be.
One of the most common questions I hear is “How do I know it is time?” Unfortunately, there is no single sign or exact date on a calendar or perfect answer.
Instead, I encourage families to look at quality of life as a whole. Is your kiddo still enjoying the things that once made them happy like eating, going for walks, playing with favorite toys, greeting you at the door and resting comfortably? When bad days begin to outnumber good ones, it may be our pet telling us they are tired and that the time is around the corner.
Pain is not always obvious, especially with tough dogs and cats; they are usually incredibly good at hiding discomfort. Subtle changes like hiding, being restless at night, losing interest in food, or simply no longer seeming like themselves are important signals. Always trust your gut feeling and what you believe you are seeing as you know your furry one better than anyone.
Another fear many people have is related to the moment itself. I want to gently reassure you that a peaceful euthanasia, when done with care, is not scary for your pet. Your baby does not feel fear in those final moments. Instead, they feel relief from their discomfort or suffering.
Some people worry they will be too emotional to be present during the euthanasia, and others are afraid they will fall apart. There is no right or wrong way to say goodbye. Being there does not mean being strong, just as not being there does not mean being weak. It means being loving.
I always remind people that we all grieve differently and that even when you may choose not to be present, we as medical providers ALWAYS make sure that they know they are loved until their last breath. I personally make sure I am emotionally there for them, as I know they have been there for their families for a long time.
Grief after the loss of a pet is real and valid. Our pets are family and, for many of us in our community, our children. They witness our routines, our quiet moments and our hardest days. They love us without conditions or expectations, which we know is something that even our own human families often do not provide.
Losing that kind of bond can feel overwhelming and, sometimes, isolating, especially when others may not understand the depth of that loss. Give yourself permission to grieve. Talk about your pet, share stories, look at their pictures and, most importantly, honor their memory in a way that feels right to you.
Healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning how to carry love forward.
If there is one thing I hope pet parents take away from this, it is this: Choosing euthanasia out of compassion is not a failure. It is showing love, and it is saying that we will carry their pain so that they do not have to.
Please love your kiddos deeply and, when the time comes, know that choosing euthanasia is also choosing love and respect.
Ugh, I told you this column would be a sad one, sorry!
And on that sad note, I want to share some personal news: Literally six years ago, in February 2020, I was given the amazing opportunity to become a regular columnist for Dallas Voice. That is when the Woof column was born, thanks to Chad Mantooth.\
Sadly though, this will be my final column for Dallas Voice, as I step into new chapters and pursue new things in life. I am certainly not shedding a tear or two as I write this! No way! 😉
I am deeply grateful to Chad, Leo, Tammye and everyone at Dallas Voice for the trust, support and space to share these conversations over the years. I am also so thankful for Chad and for Dallas Voice for always representing our community and for advocating for who we are. I admire you all at Dallas Voice!
To the readers, thank you for welcoming me into your lives, for your thoughtful gestures and for the love you show your pets every single day. Please keep loving them and share that love during these chaotic times.
It has truly been an honor. So, one last time and to keep my traditional good bye, abrazos para todos!! Los quiero con todo mi corazón! — Dr. Josh