From allergies to interviews to guppies

Happy Pride month y’all. So, this is what is going on with me so far this month: Apparently, pollen has decided it is celebrating Pride in my fucking face. Every tree, flower or weed has bukkaked me without consent. I’m thinking of letting my nose hairs grow out a few inches as a defense mechanism to protect my interface.

Allergies get me every year, but this season has been a rough one. At times it feels like someone is blowing up a balloon in my head. To be totally candid (and not trying to gross you out but …): Not a lot of mucus but instead, a steady flow of tear-like snot. My nose is literally crying. So attractive.

Plus, my throat itches so bad I wanna take a baby bottle cleaner and shove it down my gullet so viciously that I look like I am churning butter. This is a weird way to start out this column, so let’s move on.

One of the things I am excited about for Pride month is an interview I did last week with WFAA for a segment called “Now that I have your attention.” I’m not sure when it will air, but please watch out for it. The day we filmed, it rained; I felt horrible and nearly cancelled twice. I made sure I had some fresh hair in my signature red — thank you, Sweet Mark — and spent extra time getting my make up TV ready. I wanted to look as good as possible. Whaa-waaa — things did not work out that way.

I know I can be overly critical of myself, but I also have eyes. I forgot the segment was going to be filmed in black and white. Duh! My hair coulda been any color!

The camera people were so professional and fabulous, but that lower angle is not so great for a thick bitch like me. I looked like a thumb or Honey Boo Boo’s momma on a good day. It is what it is; I’m heavier than I wanna be, and that damn camera just magnified it. Thank God I am pretty.

The thing about the interview: It’s not about my looks; it’s about what I said. And I am a little nervous to see how I come across. I said things in reference to my coming out that are still a bit sensitive when it comes to my family. I didn’t say anything untrue, but the words that were said to me back then in no way reflect my current relationship with the parentals.

We’ve gone full circle and back again. I just hope that my mom, in particular, isn’t hurt by me talking about the past. It is a part of my story — a hard part that in many ways built me into the strong yet sometimes emotionally stunted person I am today. The past is just the recipe that makes up who you are today.

I sound like a fucking redneck philosopher. My point is …. Hell, I don’t think I have a point. I just hope the segment turns out well. It was very cathartic.

Y’all Sue Ellen’s is finally reopened! As I write this, last night was their first night back. All I can say is wow! They were packed! These weeks since the Rose Room and Station 4 reopened have been incredible, but something was missing. Sue’s were the final piece to the puzzle. As crazy as the night was for the entire block, it felt so good to see that bar a-hoppin.’

I apologize for my random trains of thought, but now I want to tell you about my aquarium. My husband and I have had various sized aquariums since we have been together. When we first got together, we had, I think, a 150-gallon giant aquarium. It was huge, took up an entire wall in our tiny house. It had five huge Oscars about the size of large dinner plates and a plecostomus (a sucker fish) that was at least two feet long! We eventually had to sell the whole thing, fish and all, to a lady that ran a dog grooming business. It was just too big for us.

Fast-forward to a few years later, and I missed having an aquarium. Now we have nice 20-gallon tank set up in an opening between two rooms. It is in full view in both the kitchen and the back room. We have kept a bunch of different types of fish over the years, and they have led long, wonderful lives. They provide a little mental getaway for me everyday as I watch them swim and live their little fish lives.

This past year we had a lonely little red, silver and blue tetra, the lone survivor of three tetras we bought at one time. We also have guppies — two really beautiful males and two little ol’ plain-Jane females. The two females would get pregnant, and we would watch for them to give birth, but we never saw any little babies.

About five months ago, both of the females passed away within a few weeks of each other, so we decided it was time to get some new fish fam. We got some tetras for our lonely little guy and our little school of fish are doing amazing. We also got two more little female guppies. They were both pregnant within a few days. Our little stud guppies wasted no time with flirting or foreplay; it must have been an immediate fish fuck fest.

Our aquarium has lots of real plants growing in it. One of the plants is a grass that breaks off and settles into another space and takes up residency. We just let it go; I love all of the green, and it just makes the whole tank feel more alive.

Well apparently, we have created the perfect conditions for baby gups. One day I noticed a tiny lil-bitty baby swimming through the grass. I didn’t get my hopes up. Guppies are known to swallow children faster than a gay man. Then I saw another one, and I thought, “Hide little babies! Stay hidden till you are big enough not to be a snack.”

As of yesterday, I counted about 19 baby guppies, ranging from specks with tails to half inch monsters. I love it. I love watching them grow and change, but they won’t be babies for long. I’m not sure what we are going to do, but for now it is cool to see so much life thriving in my little world.

I guess everyone is getting guppies for Christmas!

This is just a bunch of Saturday morning brain vomit! Happy Pride! Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova.