A day in the life

Hello beautiful people. Last night I had a straight girl come up to me and ask me what it was like to be such a fabulous showgirl? “Teeheehee,” I giggled with a blush as I covered my lips with my hands like a Geisha. She was very sweet but was dead serious. She wanted to know everything, from make-up to costumes to de-dragging.

I told her I didn’t have that kind of time, but it did give me an idea about what to write this week. This is a description of last night:

I show up to the club at about 8:30 p.m. I go upstairs to the Rose Room and unlock the doors and turn on the lights. I am usually the only one there at that time unless we are rehearsing for a production. I take a moment to decide what songs I will be “singing” in the show, and I write the lineup.

It is all pretty boring, but it is the calm before the storm.

Jenna is usually the next to get there. She paints her mug faster than I can pad my ass. Like, seriously! And yes, I put on my pads first. Years ago, it would be the last thing I did, but it is a workout to get all four of my pads into place under my tights — two huge hip pads and two round butt pads. I am a white boy, and I suffer from noassatall. Luckily there is a cure: foam padding! (It used to be a couch!)

Usually after I pad, I need a drink. So we go visit Sandy, Rocky, Harmony and Patrick at the bar in the Rose Room. The club isn’t open yet, so I am walking around wearing nothing but nude-colored tights and a padded body, I look like a voluptuous, full-figured naked lady, just sauntering around, like we ladies do.

If the club were open, I would wear a robe. But everyone who works at the club has seen me wearing nothing but pads and a smile, and no one even bats an eye anymore.

By the way, my robe is black velvet with cheetah-print cuffs and collar. I look like Hugh Heffner when I wear it. Of course, the joke that I look more like a huge heifer has been made a few times.

We grab our Red Bulls and head backstage to finish getting ready. I can actually get ready in about an hour, but part of the fun of being on cast and having a dressing room to get ready in means that we get to hang out and run our mouths. The other girls show up and we all kiki and gossip as we paint our mugs.

Backstage is honestly the real show. Every single cast member is funny, and we have a blast when we really get to going.

Last night, Tommie Ross was the special guest, and it was so nice to catch up with her. She hasn’t been in our show since pre-COVID, so it was amazing to have her back. She is just good people, and I tell ya, she can cut up like nobody. She is hilarious. Stunning, graceful and elegant onstage, but backstage she is a hoot. It is the backstage shenanigans that really make my job fun.
Kelexis usually has some kind of chewy, fruity candy in her purse, so we pretend diabetes ain’t a thang and kill off a bag of Skittles, Starburst or some off-brand, cheap-ass candy that ends up being our favorite. It is just the sugar rush we need to get the show started.
The production last night was an oldie but a goodie — “Lady Marmalade” — and the girls crushed it. I wasn’t in the production, so I was able to wear a new costume that I recently had made to do the song “Get Down” from the musical Six.

Of course, before I do my song, I go out and welcome the crowd and do my mono-long. I know I talk too much, but when the crowd is laughing, and I am feeling it, it is hard to let that feeling go.

Last night the crowd was amazing. We have been very lucky lately. The crowds have been great. The tips have been great. I have remembered to be present and in the moment. I also try to show how thankful I am to get to be able to do what I do. I think it is important to thank every person that tips me. Either by saying it, squeezing their hand or something to let that person know that I appreciate them and every buck I make.

Doing new music is always risky. You don’t know if the crowd will like it or if they will just gawk at you like you are on fire. But they responded really well to “Get Down,” plus I enjoy doing it. I think that has a lot to do with it. If you are having fun, the crowd will have fun with you.

The entire show was fabulous. Krystal did Britney Spears; Sasha did Beyonce; Kelexis danced and let her titties bounce. And when dem titties get to going, it is like watching a lava lamp sped up. You just cannot look away. They are hypnotic.
All jokes aside, I am super proud of the amazing show we put on every single time we hit the stage.

I may have had a few cocktails in me by the second show, so you could not tell me I wasn’t really singing. I performed the song “Public Place” by Wendy Ho. It’s a filthy version of Rihanna’s “We Found Love,” but instead of “We found love in a hopeless place,” Ho’s version says, “I’ll suck yo dick in a public place.”

I only perform the classiest of songs. God, I just love Wendy Ho. She is a gift to us drag queens.

The show ends, and once I do a little bit of paperwork, I head home — exhausted but happy.

My 30-minute ride home is like wind-down time for me. Sometimes I listen to an audiobook, sometimes total silence — the night’s energy flowing off me into a calm that usually gets me to sleep within an hour or two.

Then the next night I do it all over again.

Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova