Cassie loves being gay (good thing)
Hi-dee-ho, homos (and homo-friendly fans)! Have you ever thought to yourself, “Thank god I am gay”? No offense to my straight friends, but we are awesome. If I would have been born a straight guy? Ugh! How boring! I love being gay. We just seem to have more fun.
And being a drag queen is the cherry on top. My job is a party and it’s Halloween all year long: “Miss Thang, why are you dressed as a Disney princess?” “Because it’s my job, bitch.” “Miss Thang, why are you wearing an afro?” “Because it’s Tuesday and I wanted to be a disco queen.” BLOOP!
Now on to our questions.
Dearest Cassie, A lot of people (I’m not one of said “people,” for the record) don’t understand drag as a legitimate art form. I can allow that. But what saddens me is that, within the gay community, there still seems to be a lot of self-described “masculine, straight-acting” gays who belittle or make fun of drag. Some may say they lack understanding as well, but I think that perhaps they more accurately feel like they feel they need to defend their masculinity. In an effort for me to be kinder and more understanding of (my opinion) these idiots, and perhaps, self-loathing homosexuals, how do you address this situation amongst us and send a message of education, understanding and/or love? “Masc” queens can be mean! Signed, with love and admiration, Not a mean str8-acting queen!
Dear Not a Mean, As a gay man turned drag queen, I have been on both sides of this coin. Except the part about being masculine. Long before I ever came out, I hated that every gay person I ever saw on television was a drag queen or someone super flamboyant, like Hollywood Montrose from the movie Mannequin. Remember, that was way back in the ’80’s. I hated that every time the news showed anything about “The Gays.” it was dudes in dresses, guys in assless chaps or dykes on bikes. I really wanted to see “regular-looking” gay guys. I wasn’t attracted to nelly, effeminate guys. So when I first came out, I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it came to drag queens. I remember telling local drag superstar Celeste Martinez one evening outside of Hunky’s “You are not who I want to be represented by as a gay man.” Her response both entertained and annoyed me. She said, “Be gone little queen, you have no power here.” Everyone standing around ooohh’d, laughed and snapped their fingers in a Z formation. She had let me have it. And I was on my way to being enlightened. Over the next few months, I started going to drag shows and loved how they seemed to bring us all together.
So, those “masculine straight acting drag hating queens” have just not been enlightened yet. They should remember drag queens rioted at Stonewall for gay rights. It’s a drag queen they call every time they want to have a fundraiser. It takes a lotta balls to do drag. Just because I wear a dress doesn’t mean I am any less of a man — I’m just prettier. Those that are anti-drag are really missing out. Maybe these mean queens should check out the DFW Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and all they do for our community. Eve Angelica and Kerianna Kross are some fierce (albeit hairy) painted ladies. Or local bearded beauty boy John Ball. He is a different breed of drag: Muscled, bearded and painted for the gods. You don’t have to love drag, but at least respect the people in your community. There is way too much hate out in the world to have so much in our own little gay world. Thanks for your support. Love, Cassie.
Dearest Cassie, How do you feel about bachelorette parties going to gay bars? —Elliott.
I honestly don’t have a problem with them as long as they realize that they are not in the show. There have been many bachelorette parties that have been lots of fun, but a lot of them get out of control. With the whole gay marriage struggle, part of me does not even want to acknowledge them, celebrating what is denied us, but I always want the audience to have a great time. My way of thinking is this: I am supportive of your marriage, all that I ask is you be supportive of mine. Gay marriage will be legal here in Texas some day — hopefully sooner rather than later. On the up side of it, I have noticed more gay and lesbian bachelor and bachelorette parties lately. We are slowly moving forward. Thanks, Cassie.
Dearest Cassie, I have had many drag queen friends over the years. The thing I loved most about hanging out with drag queens is they always had the best stories. Do you have any stories that the average fan in the audience would never have heard? Please and thank you, Tyler from Tyler.
TT, You have no idea. This question got me talking to the other ladies in the Rose Room and yes, we have stories, although some of the names have been changed or left out to protect the innocent. Valerie Lohr tells a story about a queen years ago who had poured cocaine on the counter next to her makeup, when she got called to go on stage. Then the lady boy coming off stage saw it and thought it was make up. She dipped her powder puff into it and applied it as highlighting powder. Poor thing could not figure out why her face was numb. The moral of the story, don’t do drugs, mmmmkay? Drugs are bad.
One of my other favorite stories is about a drag queen who went home with a piece of soldier trade on Halloween … dressed as Wonder Woman. Her walk of shame was epic. The next morning she had to sneak out a window and down a fire escape with her hip pads, boots and gold crown wrapped in her cape. Now that is one bad, bold superhero. She was after all on a military base.
God bless, America! I’ll tell more of these stories in the future. Although some of them might be too scandalous. Stay tuned.
B.T.Dubs: If you have been offended by any part of my column. Awesome. I try to offend someone just a little bit everyday. But remember, it comes from a place of love and fun. So suck it.
If you have a question for me, a juicy piece of gossip or a great story to share, email me and remember: ove more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO, Cassie Nova!
If you have a question and want to suggest for Ask a Drag Queen — or just have some juicy gossip to share — email it to AskCassieNova@gmail.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition August 8, 2014.