WiFi conspiracies and moments of normal

Hey all you cool cats and kittens. I didn’t want to talk about the quarantine or the coronavirus, but what the hell else am I supposed to talk about? I’m in my feelings today and kind of a little depressed. I am one of those people that always needs something to look forward to, even if it just an upcoming movie or plans to go someplace great for dinner. So, right now the only thing to look forward to is this being over.

When this first started, I hate to say, I was kind of excited to do nothing. Worried? Yes, but still a little bit like, cool! I can be the hermit I have always joked about being.

Well that shit did not last long at all. I never need more than a week off before I need to be back in drag and doing a show. God, I miss it. Yes, I know I can do a live-from-my-living-room online show, but it is not the same. Still, be sure to tune in soon, when I do actually get in drag and go live, if only to keep up on my skills. My dogs just don’t get my jokes.
I know how lucky I am to not be quarantined by myself. I would go completely crazy. My husband is still working; he’s essential. He works for the post office and delivers mail. Every time I hear that word — “essential” — it kind of feels like a slap in the face, because of how quickly I was not essential. In the apocalypse, no one needed a drag queen.
To all of you that are home alone, I am thinking of you. I think of you often. Stay strong; you can and will get through this. Thank God for technology and apps like Houseparty! Being able to talk to my crew daily helps me out a great deal and keeps me from getting too far down that loneliness hole. Plus, us doing shots together just feels good. To recap: Doing shots by yourself — alcoholic! Doing shots online with your friends — A PARTY!

A few days ago, the worst thing that could happen when you are stuck at home did happen to us: Our internet and WI-FI went out. I know; I can always clean or read a book, but we lost signal right when I was wallowing in my feelings and only wanted to lay around and watch mindless, stupid TV. After I was on the phone listening to AT&T’s stupid music for almost two hours, they finally decided to send someone out the next day. Long story short: We need a new router.
Anyway, I am not a conspiracy theorist, but tell me what you think about this:

So, back in January, we had internet issues. We eventually found out that the construction being done across the street accidently cut our line, and they fixed it — but not before they gave us a new router. Our old one was, like, four years old, so we replaced it with a shiny new one. We went in and gave our WI-FI network a cute name that would obviously be ours (CASA NOVA), and we made our Wi-Fi password “FUCKTRUMP2020.” I thought it would be hilarious when my Trump-supporting family needed our WI-FI password that they would have to type that into their phone if they wanted to use it.

But ever since we put that as our password, we have had so much trouble with our internet. Like, it would just lose connectivity and restart the DVR or freeze up all together. That fucking green light on our router would turn red and wreck my world for a few hours, then it would right itself. I swear, there is some Trump supporter that somehow knew our password and has been fucking with us. (I know it is probably not true, but here lately, I feel like my phone is starting to read my mind. This is starting to feel like a Black Mirror episode.

As far as the coronavirus is concerned, I have thought I had it at least six times in the past month. I know it is nothing to joke about; there are four people I actually know who have gotten it, and one of them has died. So I am not making light of the situation. But Texas allergies have had me thinking, “This is it, the big one. I’m not gonna make it.” (BTW, I may be a little bit of a hypochondriac.)

But seriously, I have had every single symptom of having the coronavirus except a fever. It’s hard not to worry or overreact. Plus, I am known for being slightly dramatic.

Okay, so let’s look at some of the positives to come out of being stuck at home.
1. I have been on the same tank of gas for a month.
2. My dogs love how much I am home, I hope. I know one of them, Benji, can’t wait for me to leave; he’s kind of an asshole though.
3. I’m finally getting around to organizing and cleaning stuff that I’ve needed to organize and clean forever.
4. Day drinking and early bedtimes.
I’m sure there are others, but I can’t think of any right now.

Now, here is a short list of things I miss.
1. I miss my friends and co-workers, my Rose Room and JR.’s sisters, my Caven family and our customers, my Belize bunch (I miss them the most).
2. I miss our sister time before the show as we get ready backstage.
3. I miss my Freakshow and fun on any random Monday night.
4. I miss going to the movies and date night.
5. I miss being in a crowded club. (I’m surprised by that one.)
6. I miss being onstage, mic in hand, making fun of random heteros!

I know this won’t last forever, and we are doing the right thing by self-quarantining. But I hope, in the future when we get them back, I hope I appreciate the moments of normalcy.

If you are stuck at home and lonely, reach out and talk to someone. Now would be a great time to adopt a cat or a dog. Stay strong and we will get through this. Sometimes just getting up, taking a shower and getting dressed can change your whole outlook on the day.

Now, I think I am going to take my own advice and go take a shower! Remember to always love more, bitch less, wash your hands and keep your ass at home. XOXO, Cassie Nova