Cassie asks some hard questions

Hello, my rainbow of friends. I woke up today kind of pissed off with the state of the world. So I am going to vent and probably not be very popular with some of you.
First, I want to run a scenario by you. I voted for Obama. I think he was probably the best president in my lifetime. I was Team Barack from the beginning. But let’s say shortly after being elected, he was drawn into a sex scandal. He cheated on Michelle and was vulgar about it. My feelings for him would change, but I was pro-Obama, so I can rationalize some of his awful behavior. I might even say, “What he does in his bedroom shouldn’t affect his ability to run the country.” I’m less a fan, but still a supporter.
Then say a few months after that, he has another scandal — one where, oh, I don’t know, more women come forward and name him a sexual predator. Meanwhile, throughout his presidency, he denies everything, tweeting ridiculous things. He even fires a few people through Twitter. I am on the Obama train, and am not happy about his behavior, but I might feel like I am in too deep with this. He’s my man. I voted for him. I will continue to support him even though my heart and my brain are telling me, this isn’t right.
Then, a year or so into his presidency, he cuts funding to many of the things I hold dear, has another sex scandal with a porn star and does so many outlandish things that it is just a blur of lies and bullshit. Now in my heart, I know he’s a bad guy. I am certain I would jump off of the Obama train and do whatever it took to make sure he is never president again. I would be able to say, “I fucked up by voting for him.” The respect I had for him would be completely erased. I would certainly stop making excuses for his behavior. I would be able to see the truth of the matter and stop supporting him.
But none of that happened under President Obama. Regardless of what you thought of his policies, he proved himself a loving family man that could be looked up to and admired for his actual Christian values.
So my question is: Are there Trump supporters who struggle with still supporting him? I know that race plays a huge part in this. I get so confused by people who know that, but make excuses for all of Trump’s behavior. One lady even told me that he was sharing the word of the Lord with that porn star. What? No, he wasn’t. He was shooting his Cheeto dust all over her … Sorry, I am trying hard to have a conversation, not a fight.
I would like to hear from Trump supporters that can explain their reasoning for still supporting him. I don’t want Obama bashing or name-calling. I want to understand.
I actually don’t like to talk politics too much because I know that rarely are minds ever changed. I have my beliefs and you have yours. I try to keep an open mind and ask that you do the same.
On a related topic, yes I am watching Roseanne. I have always liked the show. Part of me wanted to boycott it just because Roseanne Barr actually is a Trump supporter. But the truth is, the household on the show is a house divided just like so many households across America. We don’t talk politics at my mom’s because it will always end with my feelings being hurt and me pissed off.
I am the Aunt Jackie of my family, although I wasn’t dumb enough to waste my vote on Jill Stein. I watch the show to try to see the other side of things. I can’t claim to have an open mind if I am not willing see how the other side fares.
Another truth about the show is that although I am enjoying it, I am also reminded of where I came from and how hard I work every day to never be there again. Some may be offended by that, but for me, my truth is that I fear living paycheck to paycheck and always being broke. I am by no means rich or even well-to-do, but being comfortable is enough for me. I have insurance, I save a little, I buy things when and if I want them because I can but I have nightmares of all of that being taken away. This is America and that is a very real possibility. I’ve seen it happen.
So Roseanne feels like a necessary evil. It reminds me of my family. I don’t always like how I feel when I watch it but it is a feeling I am used to. My family probably feels the same way when they watch Will & Grace. Ha!
Sorry to get all stupid political on you, now let’s help others.
Dear Cassie, OK, so I have been with my boyfriend for eight months. He is 39 and I am 35. I love him. I truly do. We are talking marriage and starting a family together soon, but we have two major problems! No. 1: my sex drive is much higher than his. In eight months we have had sex less than 10 times! No. 2 is that he has never orgasmed with me! He swears it’s not me and that I turn him on incredibly. He also says he has gotten off alone thinking about me. He swears that some of it is mental from a woman who really hurt him by lying about her child’s paternity.
I have tried talking about it lightly and with increased seriousness about the topic but it doesn’t seem to be doing much good. I even realize it could be reduced libido by his age, but I just don’t know what else to try to get him to understand that this is a major issue for me. It’s not exactly a topic I can ask others for advice on, because I would die if it got back to him. Any suggestions?? Signed, Needing more of my man!
Dear NMMM, Oooh girlfriend, I don’t envy you. Eight months — you are still in the honeymoon phase. If the sex is already sparse, it will only get worse. He might need testosterone to boost that libido, but how are y’all gonna have kids if he never cums when you are there?
You need to ask yourself a bunch of questions: Are you sure he is straight? Are you sure he is into you? Is your relationship comfortable and easy for him but he isn’t really attracted to you? Tough questions, but it’s better to know now than years down the road. You have to communicate and start a real conversation with him.
Ask him to jack off in front of you. See if he does something different that he doesn’t do when y’all are together. I knew a guy who could only get off if he masturbated really hard, almost violently. He said he had been jacking off that way since he was a kid and now that is the only way he can orgasm. Try scheduling sex to make sure your needs are met. Not everyone is good with spontaneity. Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship and without it your relationship will suffer. I hope this works out for you both. Good luck!
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! XOXO! Cassie Nova.