Whoever proclaimed ‘no white after Labor Day’ never saw these fashionable,sexy accessories … or lived in Dallas
I’ve never been a fan of clothing etiquette which says somebody, somewhere, once decided when I can wear this and when I can’t wear that. The most annoying rule of them all: “No white after Labor Day.” Hogwash! Especially in Texas, where summer never quite ends, it just goes into remission.
White makes sense in the summer for practical reasons (like that it reflects the sun to keep us cool and it’s ideal for wet T-shirt contests — hey, boy!), it’s perfectly fine any time of year. If you’re on my side of this debate (and you better be), check out these white-hot wardrobe additions that’ll help you stick it to tradition.
2(x)ist briefs. Unless you’re the kind of guy who prefers going commando, we need to slip on our skivvies. Today’s tighty-whities, pictured left, have come a long way since our pot-bellied papas rocked the look around the house, and 2(x)ist has the perfect pair to keep your artillery under wraps. The slim-fit TUX Contour Pouch Brief features side-running satin inset stripes and a Jacquard elastic waistband, and it’s available in stark white so you can show off what your daddy gave ya. 2xist.com; $26.
Timberland polo. Even though we’re headed into dreaded (for me, anyway) cold-weather territory, there are still a few rays of hope and sunshine to soak up before hibernation begins. You’ll come off preppy and put together on those seasonable days just following the holiday — a good look if you’re tryin’ to take a dip in the back-to-school pool — in the men’s short-sleeve Millers River polo from Timberland. This regular fit shirt — sorry, skinny bitches — is solid white for a clean, finished look. Shop.Timberland.com; $58.
Slater Zorn Oxford. You won’t have to hem and haw when choosing a shirt from luxury retailer Slater Zorn, pictured above right, because every men’s button-down offered is — you guessed it — white. But these casual classics are anything but boring. There’s a pop of collegiate color on the contrast grosgrain placket that lets you bunk Labor Day tradition in white while showing a smidge of your true hues. SlaterZorn.com; $135.
Bonobos chinos. Every dude deserves a great-fitting pair of chinos, and Bonobos is nothing if not dedicated to that pursuit. Buck the trend this time, however, with a pair of Great Whites, a stark (or is that shark?) contrast from the other blues, olives and browns that currently populate your closet. This limited-edition style — once they’re gone, they’re gone, says Bonobos — features the company’s signature back pocket liners and slide-snap closures in a straight-leg fit. Bonobos.com; $68.
Mission belt. As a loyal fan of ABC’s Shark Tank, I first learned about the Mission belt, below, last year when entrepreneur Nate Holzapfel appeared on the show. Hoping to reinvent the belt altogether, Nate walked away with an offer from investor Daymond John. Its only fitting, then, that it’s the Great White style (hey, maybe they share a copywriter with Bonobos) that’s most appropriate here. This isn’t your ordinary belt, however. There are no holes in the design, but rather a sliding set of “teeth” on the inside that allow you to adjust the leather as your body changes.
Mission also has another mission besides making you feel less self-conscious about your weight: $1 of every belt sold helps fight global hunger and poverty through micro lending on Kiva. MissionBelt.com; $40.
Modify watch. Watches used to exist as function over fashion back in the day, but now that everyone comes out of the womb with a smartphone attached to their paws, the roles have been reserved. Thus, there’s nothing wrong with strappin’ on a timepiece like it’s 1993, and Modify watch helps make your throwback style funky and fresh. Choose a white-on-white watch for the post Labor Day festivities, or select from more than 150 other faces that can feature your favorite sports team, show your patriotism and solidify your commitment to charity. There’s also an option to upload your own custom design. ModifyWatches.com; from $35.
— Mikey Rox
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition September 5, 2014.