Life is not a cabaret for Shia LaBeouf
Most television shows don’t deliver breaking news over the summer, but most shows ain’t The View. During the talk show’s 17-year history, most of the explosive moments have taken place when the temperature rises. Meredith Vieira left the show amicably on June 9, 2006. Two weeks later, Star Jones ambushed the show by announcing her departure on live TV. Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s historic split-screen squabble took place in May; Hasselbeck’s last day was in July 2013; Joy Behar left a month later. Even Barbara Walters is rumored to have been nudged off the show, but spun it more to her liking. In her case, ABC seemed to see little value in the daily presence of the octogenarian. In fact, since the retirement of Willard Scott, no network has embraced the elusive (and rapidly fading) 80-to-death demographic.
That brings us to Sherri Shepherd and Jenny McCarthy. Yes, it’s true — both are leaving the show, but neither of them has been fired. Jenny was given a one-year contract when she started in September. Given that audiences have not overwhelmingly embraced her, it was decided months ago that this would be a one-year gig. Sherri’s situation is somewhat different. Like her predecessors, her departure coincides with the end of a contract cycle, but the network did enter into negotiations with her. However, the two sides were unable to come to an agreement. At the risk of saying more than I should, I’m one of the few people not entirely taken aback by this news. That’s because Sherri and I had a confidential discussion on this very topic over a year ago. See? I can keep a secret.
There’s a connection between The View and other changes happening at ABC. Once they pushed that old woman out the door, it cleared the way for another old woman to become the dowager of ABC News: Diane Sawyer. With Sawyer taking over specials, George Stephanopoulos needed to be finessed. As an astute friend of mine noted, “He’s better off staying on a morning show that people watch — no one watches the evening news.” So Snuffleupagus will run ABC News and continue to host GMA and This Week on Sunday mornings (and rumor has it he’s pushing for his “wife” Alexandra Wentworth to fill one of The View co-host chairs). That left only the evening news slot to be filled. And if I know one thing about David Muir, he’s perfectly capable of filling a slot (repeatedly, and with gusto). The upshot of all this is that poor Elizabeth Vargas got sober for nothing!
Someone who probably wasn’t sober last week was Shia LaBeouf. Do you know how crazy you have to be to attract attention at the Broadway revival of Cabaret? But there was the increasingly erratic actor being dragged out in handcuffs by six policemen during intermission. While the Roundabout Theatre Company has simply said that LaBeouf was “disruptive during act one and escorted out of Studio 54 during intermission,” onlookers filled in some of the gaps. His behavior included smoking inside the theater, feeding a strange woman food from her own plate and slapping audience members on the back of their heads and/or asses. He also reportedly reeked, but if that were a crime, the subways would be empty! While being dragged off by the fuzz, he allegedly called one cop a “fag” and also said, “I’ll fuck you up” … which apparently he didn’t mean in a good way. He even added, “I have millions and millions of dollars and attorneys. I’m going to ruin your career.” Doubtful. Once in custody, he had to be muzzled because he was spitting at people. He was charged with two counts of disorderly conduct, one count of criminal trespassing and one count of harassment. Some weeks this column just writes itself.
Kathy Griffin just did something for the first time — the 53-year-old funny gal posed nude! We normally bring you male celebrity nudes, but why should I discriminate? Griffin was doing a photo shoot with Tyler Shields when he suggested she do something risqué — or, as he describes it, “iconic.” That meant stripping down and posing languidly by a pool, showing off her back and the top of her breasts.
Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Jay in Sacramento, who asks: I just saw Jersey Boys and wondered about the gay producer. Is that part true? And who was the actor playing him? He was so hot. Is he gay?
So many questions. The character you are referring to is Bob Crewe, who was indeed gay — well, mostly gay (he identifies himself as bisexual). What is kinda glossed over in the film is that he wasn’t just the producer; he wrote the lyrics to most of those hits. In fact, “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” was written as he watched a post-coital young man sleeping in his bed. So it’s a gay love song. But you didn’t ask about that.
The role was played by the dashing Mike Doyle, pictured. That name sounded familiar to me, so I immediately checked out the Billy Masters Archives, and what did I find? A choice item from 2008 where I answered a question from Roger in Toledo (I hope he’s still reading this column) about the handsome hunk he saw in Paul Rudnick’s play The New Century opposite Linda Lavin. That was in fact the same Mike Doyle who walked across the stage — well, bounced across the stage — completely naked. Well, not completely naked. He was wearing a cock ring (I believe this was the first time a cock ring was officially used in a Broadway production). You most certainly should check him out on BillyMasters.com.
As to the second part of your question, Mike is openly gay. He was, for a while, the spousal equivalent of actor Matt McGrath, who most notably helmed the national tour of Cabaret. They were good friends with another gay couple, Broadway performer and choreographer Denis Jones and the lovely Andrew Rannells. Nothing wrong with that … until Matt got a job out of town. Then Denis and Andrew kept Mike company. Sometimes, it was just Andrew. And, bing, bang, boom! A new couple is formed. Mike Doyle and Andrew Rannells have been together for over a year and everyone seems to be happy … at least everyone they’re talking to!
When I’m relating the gay equivalent of Debbie Reynolds, Eddie Fisher, Elizabeth Taylor and Mike Todd, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Well, there is a difference — nobody went down in a plane crash (although I’m sure more than a few people went down). For all your gossip needs check out BillyMasters.com, the site that always thinks ahead. If you’re thinking of a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we find out what Shia was doing at Cabaret in the first place.
So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.
Contact Billy by email at Billy@BillyMasters.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition July 4, 2014.