Nate Berkus pregnant? Well, kinda
No time for personal anecdotes this week. No bon mots from my glamorous life. No bitching about how I think T-Mobile committed fraud with false promises that left me stranded in Eastern Europe. Nope, we have to get right to Aretha Franklin on The Late Show with David Letterman. You’d think we’d be talking about how big ole Auntie Re winched herself into a strapless little prom dress. But, no. We’re gonna talk about Cissy Houston. In case you don’t know, Houston was (in her day) one of the most in-demand backup singers. She also worked closely with Franklin for decades. But this was not her night. Positioned over Aretha’s right hock, she was constantly on camera. We got to see her roll her eyes, grimace and sneer. What we didn’t see was much singing. That heavy lifting was left to the four other backup singers, who also shimmied and did hand gestures that Cissy clearly wasn’t interested in. I couldn’t tell if she was pissed off, bored or if her dentures were slipping. But I know I’ve seen that scowl before. And then it hit me. When Oprah asked Cissy, “Would it have bothered you if your daughter, Whitney, was gay?” Without batting an eye, Cissy said, “Absolutely!” When Aretha showed up on the Today show for an encore, Cissy was nowhere in sight.
We hear that Melissa Rivers will be filing a lawsuit against the clinic where her mother, Joan Rivers, suffered cardiac arrest. According to insiders, the suit will also include the doctor who allegedly did an unauthorized biopsy. That doctor, Gwen Korovin, is respected and has quite a glittery clientele that includes people like Celine Dion, Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande. It’s just so sad. Why? Why? Why couldn’t this have happened to one of them and not Auntie Joan? On the other hand, I can assure you that Joan would not only be thrilled to leave this world in a controversial way, she’d want Missy to take that clinic and doctor for all they’re worth.
One rarely speaks of Keanu Reeves anymore … and that truly doesn’t bother me in the slightest. However, I was amused to hear that he recently had not one but two uninvited guests in his fortress-type Hollywood Hills home. The first happened on Sept. 15. At 5 a.m., he awoke to sounds coming from his library — and let’s stop and think when the last time we visited somebody whose house had a library (or that Keanu was, umm, “a reader”). Keanu went to the library, and found a woman in her mid-40s sitting in a chair reading a book … which one would do in a library. When she saw Keanu, she said she was there to meet him. He calmly called 911, and off she went (hopefully he at least gave her an autograph). How did this middle-aged woman get into the house? Reeves forgot to set the alarm. Days later, a cleaning crew was at Keanu’s home. Another woman just sauntered in, went to the bathroom, took a shower and then jumped into the pool naked. Needless to say, the cleaners were suspicious — after all, when was the last time a naked woman was seen at Keanu’s home? The crew called Keanu, he called 911 (which at this point is probably on speed dial) and they ejected the intruder.
Nate Berkus has just announced that he’ll soon be hearing the pitter-pat of little feet around the house … and I don’t mean those of his hunky hubby, Jeremiah Brent. The couple is expecting a child, and they aren’t even showing! Berkus wrote, “While we can’t share much, we can say that thanks to a surrogate and the support of those we love we will officially be a family in the spring of 2015.”
But wait, there’s more baby news. Tyler Perry is also expecting a child. But that’s not the shocking part. Here’s how the announcement is worded: “Tyler Perry and his longtime girlfriend, Gelila Bekele, are expecting their first child together.” Huh? I guess anything is possible these days. Even Michael Jackson had a kid (several, in fact).
Liam Payne wants you to know that although he’s not gay, he’s also not homophobic. The latest One Direction gay brouhaha started when someone posted grainy stills allegedly taken from a homemade gay sex tape, purportedly starring Liam. Payne took it in stride, tweeting, “Wow as if people think that weird photo going around is actually me lol think id rather tweet a full frontal than have people look at that.” Moments later, he added the following: “I’m 100% not homophobic. But I’m also 100% not gay so when somebody says I am I’m gunna say I’m not which does not make me a homophobe.” Got it.
Someone else who ain’t gay is Joe Manganiello. However, it’s not an issue for him — a quiet confidence that comes with banging Sofia Vergara, no doubt. Last week, the hunky actor received the Ally for Equality Award from the Seattle chapter of the Human Rights Campaign. In his speech, he reaffirmed his commitment to equality: “If I’m being completely honest, there’s a small part of me that felt weird about accepting an award just because I think that everyone should be treated the same — that each individual be allowed the basic human right to love whomever their heart wants to love without fear or hatred or prejudice.”
This leads perfectly into our Ask Billy question. Larry in a Boston suburb asks, “Who is Ellen DeGeneres’ hot gardener, Nick? I hear he’s gonna be in Magic Mike XL. Tell me he’s gay, or that you have nude photos of him.”
Nick the Gardener is actually Billy Reilich, pictured above with Ellen — an assistant basketball coach for the Indiana University South Bend Titans. He’s also a member of the Cream Pies, a quartet that does funny music videos. At the beginning of the year, the group of four attractive guys
made a video for their song “I Love You, Ellen” which included Billy/Nick clad only in a pair of Ellen undies saying, “I’ll happily be your pool boy.” The video caught Ellen’s attention and she featured it on her show five days after they posted it. Three days later, they were on the show, with DeGeneres making the hunky 23-year-old doff his top. The rest, as they say, is history.
While everyone swears he’s straight, there’s more to Billy than meets the eye. Someone sent me quite a few nude photos purportedly of him — and we’re talking full frontal, full arousal, full backal, full everything. The pics first surfaced on some websites which have since deleted them. I’m told that the p
roprietors of those sites received very polite requests from Nick himself, thus authenticating every inch of them. It’s entirely possible I’ll do the same if I hear from him. After all, 23-year-olds have a way of being so convincing. In the meantime, you can enjoy them over at BillyMasters.com.
When we’re showing you more than a gardener’s bush, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. If you’ve got a question, send it along and I promise to get back to you before we find out what else Keanu’s house and the White House have in common.
So, until next time, remember: One man’s filth is another man’s bible.
Have a question for Billy? Send an email to Billy@BillyMasters.com.
This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition October 10, 2014.