3 more trans women have died in 2018, and a school shooter murdered 10 in a Texas high school. We must do better
When I came home from work that Friday, Katie looked at me and asked, “Are you ok?” I’m so glad I have a relationship where I can answer honestly and say, “No. I’m not OK. I am, in fact, just thoroughly exhausted and emotionally spent.”
But hey — at least I didn’t get murdered.
When something happens to someone in the trans community, whether I knew them or not, it affects me. It affects the whole community.
When I heard that Carla Flores-Pavon had been murdered — and not all that far from where we live — it hit hard. She was so young and her death so senseless.
Then a few days later, my phone started blowing up with news of another trans woman found dead in Dallas. Her body was found in White Rock Creek. Her name is Nicole Hall, but as I write this, cause of death has not been officially determined.
Shortly after I learned of her death, TV stations started calling wanting comments from someone from the community.
Here’s what they wanted to know:
• Am I scared? No, I’m not. None of the trans people I know live their lives in fear. We are well aware that living authentically, sadly, carries a price in the “Land of The Free.”
• Am I’m bothered that Carla’s death was not ruled a “hate crime?” No, I’m not. What bothers me is that, regardless of circumstances, her murder can’t be considered a hate crime in Texas because gender identity is not one of the protected classes in this state.
• Do I feel safe in Dallas? Yes, I do. Dallas has its share of problems, like any big city. But I’ve found the city of Dallas, specifically, to be safe, welcoming and supportive of the LGBT community. That’s not so in other places, especially in the hallways of the Texas Capitol in Austin.
• They also wanted to know why people want to murder us. That one hurts me to contemplate, but one thing I know is when the fires of hatred are fanned, people die.
When politicians brand transgender people as “predators” or “mentally ill,” when we are labeled as unfit for military service because of our gender identity, or when someone decides we should not have safe access to emergency shelters because we might make someone “uncomfortable,” it can give those with a simmering hatred of anyone different from themselves permission to act on that hatred.
But we have no evidence that this was the case in Carla Flores-Pavon’s case. Fortunately, an arrest has been made, and it appears he will be brought to justice.
The suspect in Carla’s murder was arrested in Walker County with some of her possessions. Carla met her accused killer online. So another question the TV reporter asked is whether I would urge the trans community to be more careful in meeting people online.
On one hand, I would suggest caution be exercised even in making purchases on Craigslist, let alone meeting a date on Tinder. On the other hand, isn’t that just another case of victim blaming? (“Well, she met him online; she should have known better.”)
It’s not our responsibility to get up in the morning and “not get murdered.”
Hopefully, we will learn for sure what happened to Nicole Hall. If she was murdered, she will be the 10th trans person to be murdered this year.
(There has since been an 11th, a homeless trans woman named Gigi Pierce, who was shot to death in Portland, Ore., by another homeless woman she was trying to help.)
And then, last week ended with the news of yet another school shooting in which 10 children were murdered in a Texas high school.
So much death.
The shooter, some have said, was a kid that was bullied in school. He was an outcast. Some classmates said he smelled bad.
Look, I was bullied in school, and I didn’t kill anyone. But there seems to be a common thread in many of these murders: Kids with a bright future, lots of friends and a loving family don’t do these things.
Our idiot lieutenant governor, Dan Patrick, was quick to offer a possible solution: Too many doors in the schools! If a school had fewer entrances and exits, it would be easier to defend, he claimed.
Really? Ask the fire department what they think about a large number of people and only a few exits.
Even Gov. Greg Abbot insisted we need to find a solution — but he also insists it be a solution that doesn’t threaten “gun rights.”
Gee whiz! Is this the best we have?
I know it’s simplistic, but let’s look at how we treat each other. A quote from Dr. Martin Luther King used at the Royal Wedding last weeked is a good start: “We must discover the power of love, the redemptive power of love. And when we do that, we will be able to make of this old world a new world. Love is the only way.”
Thoughts and prayers haven’t worked. Finger-pointing hasn’t worked. Legislating an atmosphere of fear or exclusion certainly hasn’t worked.
Some people can be hard to love, but sometimes, it’s those people who need it the most.
Leslie McMurray, a transgender woman, is a former radio DJ who lives and works in Dallas. Read more of her blogs at lesliemichelle44.wordpress.com.