RICH LOPEZ | Staff writer
Rich@DallasVoice.com
Conversations around identity, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community, often center on youth — the pivotal moment of realizing one’s true self in your teens or twenties. But for Don Mamone, an author, speaker and coach based in Dallas, the journey to full authenticity arrived later in life. That discovery would lead to their first book which they started writing even before coming to full acceptance of identifying as nonbinary.
Mamone publicly came out as nonbinary at age 45, following a deeply personal period of denial and self-discovery. The realization was spurred by the birth of their daughter, Frankie, and would ultimately become the foundation of their book, Different Doesn’t Mean Broken: Living Courageously Outside the Binary.
“I was successful,” Mamone reflected. “Society saw me as a good-looking dude with a beautiful wife and a new daughter in an operating business. And on the inside, I was just absolutely terrified.”
As a parent, Mamone realized the conundrum that they couldn’t teach a child to love herself and live authentically if they were actively pretending to be someone they weren’t. For the first time, Mamone had a panic attack at the idea of what to do.
“It was a misalignment between who I was pretending to be and my want and desire to be who I was because of her,” Mamone shared. “The idea that I would teach this precious little gift to learn to love someone that I’m not, and by extension, then have her potentially live in a world where she wasn’t able to be who she was.
“It was too much for my psyche, my body, my emotions to handle.”
At 41 years old, Mamone first uttered the idea aloud that there was something different about them — and it was to their wife, Emily. For her, Don was her person, the one who offered unconditional support. That would allow Mamone to cross over into their now authentic identity.
They began writing the book before they were fully clear on what they were experiencing. As clarity grew, so did Mamone’s mission to help others through their book.
Deeply rooted in Mamone’s gender identity, the “binary” mentioned in the title is a sort of double-entendre.
“I live in a both/and world. Not in an either/or world, and I think far too many people oversimplify their life, their choices, their opportunities,” Mamone explained. “Living courageously outside the binary means saying, I get to be exactly who I am, everywhere I go, no matter what I’m doing or who I’m with.”
They continued, “It became this feeling of like, basically, when the world looks at us and says, ‘Oh, I see you. This is the box you fit in.’ And it’s too small, ill-fitting, never constructed for you. The book is an invitation to dismantle that box, whatever its form.”
Mamone’s book was released in late 2024, but they say that the need for the message now is only amplified by the current climate targeting LGBTQ+ communities.
“There is a marginalization and demonization happening for transgender, nonbinary and gender nonconforming people all over this country, and just to say it isn’t even enough. It’s underestimated everywhere,” they said.